TV Guide™ Roundup

After two weeks on the DL with that groin pull, we're ready to shake off the rust and face some real competition. As you can imagine it was tough sitting on the sidelines watching while two consecutive collector's editions (one with that snazzy 3-D thing) went by. But on the other hand, I'd have never been able to come up with any snark for Star Wars or Elvismania anyway, so it was best not to try to come back too soon. I've got a career to think about.

Incidentally, in the interim I received an email from one of TV Guide's™ correspondents which was pleasant enough on the surface but contained a vague hint of menace, or at least miffitude. So this woman not only writes to TV Guide™, she also Googles her own name on a regular basis. If you're still reading the Roundups, ma'm, my advice is to have your house checked for radon.

Letters: I don't know if the contentiousness of our political situation or the stress of the end of another regular season has taken hold, but our correspondents seem particularly on edge this week. Janet F. Caires-Lesgold, of Evanston, IL, is typical of the trend. She wants the producers of Lost to know they've lost a viewer by killing off Ian Somerhalder, the most gorgeous member of the cast! Janet, I don't generally offer advice to letter writers, but listen, I know it's hard to believe now, but some day another hunk will come in to your life. Promise. It's not an affaire de coeur that's bothering Joyce Bowen of Laguna Beach, it's ABC's decision to replace Boston Legal with Grey's Anatomy after only 17 episodes this season. Joyce, I don't generally whine back at letter writers, but now you know how I felt when Sony cancelled the Betamax. Fayetteville, NC's Barbara J. Smith is distressed by the nasty remarks of The Amazing Race's Kelly. Ms Smith thinks "the ugly American" has reared its lack of heart and integrity again! Still more displeasure from Camille Palmer, who resides in Greenwich, CT, and found Conan O'Brien's segment of the Vatican conclave "offensive and disrespectful". Earlier in the show Conan had remarked he had to watch his posture, and Camille thinks he should begin by getting down on his knees! Ms Palmer, I don't generally smart off to letter writers, but you should at least consider that that's how most teevee stars got their gigs in the first place. From Vinton, down Louisiana way, Carol Ann B. Nick says she wasn't thrilled with Jonathan Frakes and Marina Sirtis turning up on the Enterprise finale. And Hermosa Beach's Jo Hilliard wants CBS to know it must be mad to ax Marianne Jean-Baptiste from Without a Trace, as she's the glue that holds the show together.

Thank goodness it's not all Sturm und Drang in viewer land. Amy Toombs, who calls Park Hills, MO home, was very excited to read that Kojak was being remade with Ving Rhames, as she numbers him among her favorite thespians. And after viewing several episodes, she couldn't be happier. And Tustin, CA's Jean Cameron asks if anyone besides her has noticed the strong resemblance between Lost's sexy Josh Holloway and the young Don Johnson. The Guide thoughtfully provides headshots of each for comparison purposes.

Insider explains how we wound up with eight actresses nominated for Daytime Emmys. My question, "How can you possibly give awards to people on soap operas?" goes unanswered for the 32nd year.

Cheers: Madchen Amick (appearing on three shows in one night), TV Land (bringing back David Steinberg), William Sanderson (deft performance).
Jeers: Kelly of The Amazing Race (those insensitive comments again), America's Top Model (morbidity and bad timing), a couple of reality show contestants (quitters), and David Letterman (too many vacations). I think I'm gonna write them a letter about that last one. Lessee: Dear TV Guide™ Jeers to your Jeer of David Letterman. The man has a right to enjoy his success and to spend time with his young son. I think you have your priorities reversed on that one. (Signed) A Loyal Reader, Anytown, USA.