"Unless you've been living under a rock in the past couple of months, you've bounced to [Kanye West's] first single, 'Diamonds From Sierra Leone'."
"Unless you've been living under a rock, you've heard [Madonna's] first single, 'Hung Up'."
"Unless you've been living under a rock for a couple of decades, you've heard of the famous Adidas shell toe."
"Unless you've been living under a rock, you probably know that the Guildhall at SMU has quickly become a Mecca for those seeking the lofty heights of game design knowledge."
"...you've probably heard about the huge media firestorm surrounding Sony BMG's XCP digital rights management (DRM) software."
"...you no doubt know by now that Microsoft is currently working toward releasing the next version of the Windows operating system, Windows Vista."
"...you definitely know that Chewbacca hails from the forest world of Kashyyyk."
"... you've heard of Kelly Clarkson."
"...you've seen Heath Ledger's face."
"...you've seen the term 'Wi-Fi.'"
"...you've seen, smoked, or heard of Phillies cigars."
"...you probably have noticed that Microsoft's once-laughable MSN unit is suddenly on a roll."
"...you'll know that Bowling for Soup isn't the name of a documentary by Michael Moore."
"...you've been inundated with information about mutual funds, stocks, bonds, annuities and IRAs."
"...you've probably heard a lot of talk about electronic commerce."
"...you know Rancic went on to win a job heading up one of Donald Trump's companies."
The Boolean Gambit:
"Unless you've been living under a rock or in a cave for the last few years, chances are you've received your fair share of “Unsolicited Commercial Emails."
"Unless you've been living under a rock, or have been coding all day, you know that KDE 3.0beta2 is out."
"Unless you've been living under a rock, or somehow thought metal was the latest LINKIN PARK album, The Gallery is most likely already in your collection..."
"Unless you've been living under a rock or in Ludditopia, you know that double-layer burn speeds are quickly ramping up."
"...or touring with Phish for the last year..."
"...or buying your music exclusively at Columbia House (same difference, come to think of it)..."
"...or unless you've trained yourself to complete ignore comics (and what a strange, sad person you must be)..."
"...(or worse yet, don't like Star Wars, which means you're a moron)..."
"...under a rock in Tom Sizemore's ice chest ..."
"...or in Iraq (trust me, it's funnier if you read it aloud)..."
"...(or living under Iraq - Kuwait)..."
"...(or in Iraq)..."
"...or not in Hungary..."
Judge's Trophy:
Unless you've been living under a rock, I'm sure you've read about the uses for a Blog.
That does it. I'm staying under mine.
ReplyDeleteThat's gotta be a big rock...
ReplyDeleteI didn't believe you till I did the google search. Shit.
ReplyDeleteyou went above and beyond the call of duty, sir. for that, i salute you.
ReplyDeleteyou're like roy at alicublog, who reads james lilek and national review online at great risk to his temperment to find idiocies and bring them back to your readers.
it's not like prometheus bringing fire from the gods to mortals, but somewhat like that.
another cliche i've found annoying, and haven't seen lately, thank fate, is "X is like Y on acid."