• Colts (-6). This one was solved early, like Monday or so, when Scoop Jackson wrote "Ten reasons the Bears will win" in ESPN The Magazine That's Made of Electrons. Honestly, I saw that headline and I felt bad for Bears fans all week. Lock. The opening kickoff didn't even faze me.
• Manning, total completions, over 22.5 (-105)
• Manning, throws touchdown or interception first? (Interception, (+140)
• I have no idea whether Billy Joel hit the over (+120) or under (-160) on singing the National Anthem in 1 minute 42 seconds. But I thought he did a fine job--and I never would have dreamed of betting on that--thereby becoming the second most-cringeworthy performer to do so. The all-time champions are Hanson. I'm serious. A capella at a World Series game, if I remember correctly.
Bets I couldn't get down:
• That Prince would be cool, come what may. Best halftime ever, which only means it was better than McCartney's passable one of a couple years ago. Great set list. Great marching band.
• That the Time's Ginny Heffernan would go 0-fer trying to identify any cultural artifact created before she turned twelve. She went 0-3, mis-tittling "Not Fade Away" and attributing the originals of "Proud Mary" to Tina Turner and "All Along the Watchtower" to Hendrix. I'm not quite sure how she identified the songs in the first place, but it's clear actually knowing something makes it that much more difficult to feel superior to it, so no bookie in his right mind would have taken it.
• That the commercials would be worth watching again after going 0-fer the Bush administration. They were. Highlight, of the top o' me still-buzzed head: the Coke videogame parody. My Poor Wife's pick was the GM robot.
• Over/under on number of times Phil Simms said "Super BO". I counted seven. I had to settle for him stepping on his dick, in golf shoes, when he "clearly saw" Kelvin Hayden step out of bounds "from up here". Phil Simms is a two-time Pro Bowler. I played football in 7th and 8th grade. And yet 85% of the time I know more about what's going on on the field than he does, because I watch. Jim Nantz, once another CBS airhead, has turned into a first-rate play-by-play man. He deserves better than Simms. So do we.
I hate Simms so much that I hit the mute button every time he bloviates, What a profound grasp of the obvious he has. And he's so proud of it he can't wait to pass it along.
ReplyDeleteFav commercial: Robrt Goulet trashing the office. He seemed like he was having the time of his life.