Charm School

The Great and Small White Hope.

Dan Balz, "Governors see risks from tone, length of GOP nomination fight". February 26

Philip Rucker, "Mitt Romney at Daytona 500: 'I have some great friends that are NASCAR team owners' ". February 26

Nia-Malika Henderson, "Santorum presses culture wars attack". February 26

SOMEONE at Wonkette, and I apologize for not writing it down immediately, asked recently if anyone else had been struck by the notion that Rick Santorum, faced with the prospect of actually being at the top of national Republican polls, had decided to do his damnedest to lose the thing.

Seems as good an explanation as any.

To me the twin mysteries of the 2012 Republican sweepstakes are these: 1) when did Republicans become so anti-Republican? and 2) why do people keep going to Mitch Daniels for quotes?

Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels said the president remains highly vulnerable because of the economy, despite some recent improvements. Once the GOP contest is over, he said, the Republican nominee will have plenty of opportunities to make his case.

“I think a lot of the miniature issues and squabbles and supposed stumbles of today will be long forgotten,” he said.

This, take it from me, is what you always get from Daniels in public: a brimming bowlful of mush, thoughtfully predigested for you.

I know, they're all trying to say "Barack Obama" as many times as they can now, because their own choices suck. Just like in 2008, 2004, and 2000. But when did "We're not Barack Obama!" become the Republican brand? (I know, "We're not Black" has been for ages, but that's another story.)

Why do they hate their candidates? Mitt Romney has demonstrated over and over again that he's the pure essence of Reaganism: self-satisfied, wealthy bubble boy, devoid of fellow feeling, and willing to say anything the Yahoos wanna hear in order to grab the reins of power. Sure, sure, "I may not rank among the most ardent of NASCAR aficionados" might seem a trifle stiff, but what possible objection is there to "some of my best friends own racing teams"? Unless friends is too much of a stretch.

Santorum? He's the most risibly "honest" candidate since Goldwater. Sure, we've got to put "honest" in quotes, because, like any public religious loudmouth he's a liar and a sexual psychopath, but still, didn't the Republican party worship the fact that George W. Bush "never read the polls [sic]"? Santorum has zeroed in on the real core of the Republican party, and told everyone else to go to Hell, literally. What's the problem? Sure, it exposes that whole "Teabaggers are fiscal conservatives, and not interested in the old-fashioned Culture War thing" routine, but who besides Dave Weigel believed that?

Daniels and New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, often cited as possible late entrants, said Sunday that they have no interest in the role.

Christie, appearing on CBS’s “Face the Nation,” twice said he does not want to enter the contest. “I’m with Governor Romney,” he said. “And one of the things people know about me is that when I make up my mind, it pretty much stays made.”
Daniels reiterated his long-standing position that he will not run. “I haven’t played any games with anybody,” he said in an interview. “Nothing has changed.”
Still, he acknowledged that the nomination battle has kept the possibility of a late entrant alive.

“The fact that no one has sewn it up like previous cycles means it’s a relevant question,” said Daniels, who is neutral about the race. “It wouldn’t have been a relevant question in previous cycles. This one’s different in so many ways.”

Yeah. Because your party's had it in so many ways. Just not in any ways which causes any of you shills, mouthpieces, and privateers to admit that something's seriously wrong. And not in ways that prevent you from having a 50% chance of getting power, and a 100% chance that whoever does get power will help you stay in the game. By god, I hate to admit it, but it was the people suckered by your "grassroots" Teabagger routine who came closer to changing our politics than anyone since the '68 Democratic convention. Found a shallow grave, didn't they?

Cast that Giant Brain around for a minute, Mitchkin. Climb down from the Ego Train (wait till the Redcap shows up with the kiddie steps) and look. They're talking about you and Chris Christie as the party's saviors. And you presume to lecture the rest of us with apocalyptic nightmares?