Wednesday, May 7

If You Make A Dog Politically Relevant For A Month He Won't Turn Around And Bite You.

Headline, Indianapolis Racist Star online:

Clinton's Chances Dwindling

AFTER a month of being told how exciting it was to finally be involved in the political process, Hoosiers wake up the next morning and are told their votes didn't actually mean squat, but it sure was fun pretendin', wasn't it?

Best moment: when some wise-ass local reporter--I came in in the middle, or else I'd buy him lunch--asked some of these newly-politically-energized Hoosier voters to name the two Democratic candidates for governor. Guiltiest pleasure: Dan Burton renominated; nothing but being caught with two live boys or dead hookers, or the most fiendish redistricting in US history come 2010, can now prevent the day when Burton is found dead in his office, with his pants on backwards, an indelible, full-denture smile on his face, and a fire blazing in the fireplace being fed documents by a half-dozen aides.

There's added joy in Burton's victory in that Republicans throughout the state are done with him, all except for his constituency. A few weeks ago Professional Republican shill Racist Star political columnist Matt Tully wrote a piece critical of Burton, then wrote one about the "response" to his column by printing nothing but favorable comments. Enjoy the millstone, Indiana Republicans! It's a bit showy for daytime, but it sure does fit you well.

Biggest disappointment: Republicans in my own district nominate smarmy proven loser and legislative timecard cheat Jon Elrod over Cat Ping. Cat Ping! is defeated. I'll never understand Republicans.


Houston said...

We moved our primary in California up so that we would have a voice. Just think of the attention we'd be getting if we had it coming up early June, our old date.

The Dems need to get rid of proportionate distribution of delegates and adopt a winner take all or at least a lot more approach. There's gotta be a better way than this debacle.

I've been on the fence through this entire process, not because I don't care, but because it doesn't matter who the eventual nominee is. John McCain is so bad that I'm a prisoner to his opposition, whoever that may be. Some days I like Hillary, others I like Barack. Neither of them is my first choice.

If McCain is elected to the Presidency, I'm going to become a serious alcoholic and go live on a beach on a desert island somewhere. No seriously, that's my plan.


orc said...

I'm not sure that either of the center-right Democratic candidates has the skills needed to pull the country out of the spin before we impact the mountain. If the GOP's old white guy wins the election, at least the "the United States collapsed into warring statelets in the administration of ..." entry in future encyclopedias will prominently state that the administrator was a Republican, which is about the only sort of justice you can expect for any of that lot anymore.

KathyR said...

When did "documents" become a euphemism for...

Never mind.

Julia said...

OK, now I want to hear about Cat Ping.

Harry Cheddar said...

Am I the only one in Indianapolis who wonders if I need to clean the litterbox every time I see a Cat Ping sign?

inevershutup said...

Indiana sounds fascinating. Who the heck is Cat Ping? Inquiring midwest minds neeeed to know.

coldH2O said...

You've got Burton, we have Sensenbrenner, or, as we know him, Senselessbrenner. His father made the family fortune in paper products.