Friday, October 2

Well, What's In The News Today? Oh, Did You See This, Paul? The Economy's So Bad, Extortionists Now Take Checks!

DAVE--Homey, Bruder…Weatherman! Women who work on your show? A woman who worked on your show is the tyranny of the Heart. Women is the tyranny of their Big Shot Boss.

This is what you wanted to be a star for? It isn't about who you fuck, or fuck over, Dave. It is partly about the ethics of sleeping with employees, and the rest is about fucking everyone else, whether they consented or not.

And no, I'm not being hypocritical about Polanski. I happen to believe that judicial misconduct, and prosecutorial malfeasance, trump damn near everything, an opinion that is left untouched by the fact that this guy proves to be a serial liar, since he already was a known prosecutor. But it is strengthened by the I'm Not Even Going To Bother Hiding My Contempt for the Intelligence of the Public routine passing as a "confession". "Hey, I'm ruining my reputation in service of the truth," says Mr. Retired Prosecutor whose actions co-opted a case it now pleases them to renew. As though he didn't ruin both his and the LA justice system's reps when he admitted colluding with a judge. Hell, as though admitting you lied for money, and media attention, in a country full of people who do the former every day and dream of the chance to do the latter, doesn't make you the fucking idol of millions. It's like saying you blew your shot at Country music stardom by professing Jesus as your Lord and Savior.

Next time try passing it off as youthful indiscretion.

Hailstones the size of Canned Hams! Dave. It meant more to some of us than that some silly guy was being silly on local news. It meant somebody who saw through the bullshit that everyone else seemed so eager to gulp down by the heaping handful had at least made it to the place where he could twist a nose or two. It meant the hope that someday someone other than some British pop star might bite General Electric where it hurt. It meant being happy that you got rich, and forgetting it when the show slid into mediocrity and superciliousness and tabloid moments with Drew Fucking Barrymore.

'Cause y'know, Dave, Eugene Levy can make any number of crappy movies he wants, and he'll still be the guy from SCTV. But the unspoken part of the deal is, he can't show us how he spends the money. Dipping your willie in the steno pool is much, much worse.

In the next life, David Letterman, Bill Hicks is hosting the Tonight Show. And you are his seat cushion.

And thanks, by the way, for helping Sarah Palin reload.


satch said...

A few sane people have pointed out that Letterman has been single since his divorce in the late 70's to this past March. They have also pointed out that Letterman slept with the woman in question...what...over three years ago? And that the person doing the extorting was the current "boyfriend" of the woman in question, who was a sleazebag looking to score a quick 2 million. OK, OK...maybe it's not the smartest thing to sleep with someone you work with, let alone an underling, but let's face it: there are many people whose social lives are limited to the people they meet at work, and Letterman is probably one of them. Rush Limbaugh sounded particularly lame in his attempt at demonizing Letterman over this incident. I was hoping you wouldn't make the same mistake.

mndean said...

My only problem with what Dave did is that it was beaten into me at my workplace that if I did anything like that or even lesser offenses (even workplace flirtation), I could be out on my ass, no appeal. So it depends on how famous you are whether you can get away with it. Ah, America land of the free to fuck your underlings if you're a lovable star.

And I don't even find Dave lovable. During most of the '80s, he did enough skits where he essentially made fun of people who had to work for a living, especially if they had foreign accents, that I quit watching late-night TV.

Matt T. said...

Do you really think Bill Hicks would've wanted to be the host of a nightly network talk show? Seriously? You perhaps never heard his rant about Jay Leno's career choice. And do you really think Sarah Palin puts that much thought into the babble that comes out of her mouth? I doubt she even remembers her little kerfluffle with Letterman, what with all that work she put into writing her book.

David Letterman and some unnamed grown-up, adult woman that worked for him had sex without being married. As far as anyone knows, no one was forced to do anything they didn't want to do, it was known around the office and no one who might've been affected by it apparently cared.

I honestly can't believe so many seemingly intelligent, thoughtful people are in high dudgeon over this. I swear, it sounds every inch the whiny nonsense that'd come from a Hollywood stock petty office gossip character.

If one doesn't feel having sex with one's employees is a good thing, one shouldn't have sex with one's employees. Otherwise, one ought to at least think about minding one's own business. Jesus.

mndean said...

Um, Matt, I only mention that I would have been out on my ass at my old job (yes, I quit the place - it was a suffocating hellhole) if I did what your gap-toothed hero did. One romantic contact with an underling (adult and willing as she would be) would have ended my career if any of my superiors caught wind of it.

See where some people might get a bit testy about it? Or are you ready to make grand sweeping statements about people you don't know and their motivations.

Gee, I guess you are.

Matt T. said...

Putting aside your basic obnoxiousness - I have no heroes, gap-tooth or otherwise, and I really wasn't referring to you - I'd like to point out that despite of your unpleasant work experience, you're basically doing what you're accusing me of. That is, making grand sweeping statements about people you don't know and their motivations. Sorry you worked in a shithole, but I still fail to see how anything Letterman, this unnamed woman, or anyone who isn't them, their family members or their co-workers has any business getting "a bit testy" over the affair. There's plenty of jobs full of non-famous people wherein a supervisor and an employee may carry on all sorts of romantic and/or purely sexual relationships. It's still none of your business.

mndean said...

Then why, pray tell, was it my boss's business in your opinion? You apparently think it wasn't - your sweeping statement is that "as far as anyone knows (fat assumption there, sport), no one was forced to do anything they didn't want to", which in the workplace is a turning a blind eye to coercion, which can take many forms, and can happen both ways. Believe me, even if my place was a shithole, I understood my boss' attitude toward supervisors having romances with underlings - there's almost always an implicit coercion in the relationship, whether consensual or not, no matter who starts the advances. If the relationship goes bad, then the company can have major problems. Adults often do not act like adults when things go sour - it's so common it's one of the staples of the cheaper forms of fiction and reality TV.

Draconian workplace rules come more from hard-learned lessons and less from capriciousness. That anyone could cop an attitude like "It ain't nobody's business but their own" means anything goes, I guess, as long as you've got the juice to not get caught/fired. Lovely attitude. Cream rises to the top, eh? Or as Ralph Gleason put it more banally "It's about money, power, and ego".

P.S. The "gap-toothed hero" line is an obscure reference I am not surprised you didn't get. I should have put it in quotes. My error.

P.P.S. If I appear obnoxious to you, it's because I usually am obnoxious to those I hold in contempt.

Jaye Ramsey Sutter said...

How can a woman say "no, thank you," to someone she works for?

And while the President was the butt end of Letterman's jokes he was doing the same thing. Funny when someone else doesn't, not funny when he does it.

But the president can sit on Letterman's show and be a class act. Where can Dave go with this? All the way to the ratings bank.

He can't meet someone other than the people he works with? Jesus that is lame. He has some pretty impressive guests. Surely one of them could pimp for him?