Well, That Didn't Take Long

MITCH Daniels' Solomonic metamorphosis lasted no more than twenty-four hours. What turned him back into a toad--nightfall, the Democrats staying away to kill odious Republican legislation that Mitch was in favor of, or someone shutting off the teevee lights--is not clear. At any rate, what on Tuesday was the sacred right of a minority to walk out (and show its ass!) became, by Wednesday, attempted bullying and blackmail. Good to have the Old Mitch back.

The one remarkable thing was that Wednesday's performance added terminally-ill Lt. Governor Becky "GED" Skillman to the podium, taking valuable time away from her medical treatments and her supervision of the twelve-month-long celebration of the six times Ronald Reagan changed planes at Weir Cook airport. This marks her second public appearance since being shoved aside so Mike "Choirboy" Pence wouldn't run for President, bringing her six-year total to four, or two if you don't count the gas-station Ethanol ribbon-cutting gigs they gave her in '05. Becks was apparently there to put a human face on the crushing of thousands of working-class lives and dismantling free education for the poor. This prompted one protesting union worker to remark, "If someone as nice as Becky Skillman is willing to stand silently to support this, I may need to rethink my position." Another added, "Hey, I think that woman's in my night-school Hygiene class!"

The real Republican response, though, was left to Then-Deputy Indiana Attorney General and Comedy Blogger Jeff Cox, who twittered a Mother Jones reporter over the weekend that the Wisconsin state police ought to clear the square with "live ammunition", then retwitterated, "you're damned right I advocate deadly force".

Cox lost his job, but raised his national prospects. He told local Channel 6 last night that his comments were "satire", that he regretted his "lousy choice of words", but that he was the victim of a "double standard".

Cox's blog is now down, so we mostly have to take his reputation as a keen sports observer on faith; however, we might note his violation of the cardinal rule of football above: Don't try to run three plays at once.

And, of course, the internets live forever, or until Scott Walker discovers the off switch, so we did manage to salvage this little bit of Swiftian satiricalism:

The Teenage Black Thug in question was one Brandon Johnson, the fifteen-year-old who deservedly looked like this:

after some curb service from three or four IMPD officers. Brandon was initially charged with resisting arrest, interfering with a police officer, and felonious assault with his face bones. Satirically, those charges were dropped.

Cox says his blogging was known to his superiors. And I have to say that I agree that he should not have been fired, though I base this on the slightly different grounds that we really shouldn't have hired his crazy ass in the first place.

Actually, one good thing did come out of all this: no one's going to be able to find Indiana Attorney General Greg Zoeller for a week.

This left the mule work to House Speaker and longtime Republican leader Brian Bosma, who is probably best thought of as Bill Murray without the talent. If Mike Pence is The Choirboy, thanks to his cosseting in the nation's capital, Bosma is the venal and colluded preacher in the company town. The phrase "smirking pious hypocrite" was actually invented for him. Really, I'd like to avoid being judgmental, but consider that while Jesus surrounded himself with thieves and prostitutes, He would almost certainly have drawn the line at lobbyists, and unquestionably at the Indiana General Assembly. Consider how He treated that other herd of swine.

Bosma's the guy who, during his last stint as Speaker, just couldn't keep the "nondenominational" monotheist invocation at the beginning of each session from turing into Saviorfest '05, to the extent that he was sued by a Jewish lawmaker, lost, and tried to fight the thing--at state expense, of course--all the way to the Supreme Court. Employing a crony law firm. Y'know, What Jesus Would Have Done.

Well, Bosma's been standing there with his gavel in his hand and no one to pronounce an auto-da-fé on, so yesterday he took it out on the gallery (filled with union folk and other non-believers), claiming they'd tried to "intimidate" and "spit on" legislators, before finally clearing the seats, taking his cross, and going home. Bosma also announced that, should Democrats return, he just might change the House rules and vote on the legislation they'd killed anyway. Because even a bankrupt state has plenty of loose change lying around to defend court challenges to every piece of legislation it enacted.

Mitch, meanwhile, is now threatening to hold Special Sessions "until New Years" if necessary, to get his promised soils divvying legislative agenda voted on, and to give the bill to the Democrats. Which I think they should pay. Right after Mitch reimburses us for last year's Special Session, the one he forced at the eleventh hour by torpedoing a bi-partisan spending bill that didn't meet his Presidential campaign propaganda needs.