Wednesday, July 11

Another Fortnight I'm Not Exactly Looking Forward To

OUR story so far: somebody at the USOC--which, by the way, has an award named for George Steinbrenner despite the fact that Steinbrenner didn't pay for it--got Ralph Lauren to design the Team USA getups, proving once again that there may be someone with money in this country who also has taste, but if so he keeps it secret. This is the result, cleverly combining the feline athleticism of professional yachting, the classic, buttoned-down spiffiness of amateur yachting, and just the right hint of Mormon paramilitary commando cadre, topped off with the traditional American headgear:



Plus the one-foot square Polo by Ralph Lauren ™ logo. Of course. Because who th' fuck else could design a blue blazer and white pants?

The criticism caused someone to ask Ann Coulter for her opinion, because, you know, that's what this country was reduced to a couple decades ago at least.

Right-winger Ann Coulter said the Polo logo on the Olympic uniforms is "huge," but, "If you want athletes to wear un-logo'd uniforms, you have to sponsor them instead of Polo. That's just how life is."

Yes, that's how life is. There's no possible way around it. An Olympics without the skidmarks of corporate shit stains everywhere is unimaginable. And will someone please apologize to the shade of Jim Thorpe? A few million times?


I do have to admit there's a certain appropriateness to Ann's idea. 


Meanwhile, this so riled the DAR that even the DAR had to disavow the reaction of its members ("who control some of the most exclusive country clubs in the nation", sez the Post, and thank'ee for that), who had envisioned something more along these lines:


Which at least would cut the pretense.  


And are threatening to exclude Polo™ merchandise from pro shops and society charity-scam auctions from Palm Springs to Augusta.

Th' fuck did the rest of us do to deserve any of these people?



14 comments:

ice weasel said...

The best line is the last one.

What indeed?

However, I would ask, how can we rid ourselves of these people? Chances are they won't be buy the "B Ark" scam.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

answer: we abandoned the tradition of the guillotine.

Anonymous said...

Kind of in that same vein, I find it so typical anymore that the pervasive attitude is, "By God, I got mine and the hell with the rest of you." It's depressing. But I do so enjoy your take.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

FRENCH HATS!
~

Warren Terra said...

Jee-zuz. A Beret with the tricolor and a naval blazer with a giant polo player on the breast? Leaving aside the massive tackiness and the militarism, these are French and British symbols, which is fine (I've nothing against either) except that this is meant to be some sort of display of America Fnck Yeah.

PS RE Jim Thorpe I recently learned something I hadn't known - the IOC (including its longtime head, a former US Olympic "teammate" of Thorpe) spend about six decades lying through their teeth about whether the rules for the 1912 Olympics said a challenge against a participants' medals must be lodged within thirty days; Thorpe, who had his (Athletics) medals stripped from him because of revelations he had been (very poorly) paid to play baseball, and so was not an Amateur sportsman, was not denounced within thirty days and so should never have lost his medals. For sixty years the IOC falsely insisted these rules never existed.

Anonymous said...

I'm having some difficulty proving to myself that I'm not a robot. Does it matter?

Drone Games anyone?

"U-S-A-M-I-C! U-S-A-M-I-C!"

[i.e., made in China]

We're Number #1 in soda consumption. So, we got that going for us.

prairie curmudgeon said...

Didn't think the Ralph Lauren/USOC SuperPac was allowed to coordinate with the Romney campaign.

prairie curmudgeon said...

"China-made U.S. uniforms raise ire"

http://espn.go.com/olympics/summer/2012/story/_/id/8160403/2012-olympics-china-made-team-usa-uniforms-ignite-anger

Exceptional

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

In case anyone was wondering if FAUX Nooze get any less stupid during the last 24 hours, your answer is here.

http://mediamatters.org/blog/2012/07/12/its-very-frenchy-fox-continues-mockery-of-us-ol/187103
~

Xecky Gilchrist said...

Goodness, that young man in the Lauren gear looks like a steward in an alt-history 1960s airline catering to dowagers and gay gents of a certain age.

KWillow said...

The USA has been a laughing-stock to the World ever since we elected Regan. And the dumber and more useless we become, the more we strut, bluster and boast. There's and old saying "All good Americans go to Paris when they die". And maybe those dead Americans wear berets... but I bet they'd rather not.

gracie said...

If we were a truly authentic people, the Olympic wardrobe would be based on the fashion stylings of the People of Walmart.

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/photos/

anotherbozo said...

@KWillow: "All good Americans..." said by Mark Twain (probably speaking in France at the time).

Waddaya think would happen to the athlete who chose to put a big pin over the Polo logo, covering it up neatly? Like an Olympic pin or something? That would be me. Or a donor who gave 200 pins, specifying that they be worn over the goddamned Polo logo. Love to see the brouhaha and news coverage of that one...

Note that Riley gets a lot of responses to this easy one, in contrast to the intellechal political posts...

satch said...

Preppie Storm Trooper. Thanks a lot, Polo!