Monday, October 1

Monday Olio: Let Romney Be Romney!

• So at this point Mitt's gotten free advice from Karl Rove, Peggy Noonan, Newt Gingrich, Haley Barbour, Chris Christie, Sarah Palin, and Harold Stassen, probably, in addition to the millions of bucksworth he purchased on the open market. (And Jennifer Rubin, but that's not advice, it's a colonoscopy.) And leave us note here that all that talent accounts for one (1) actual victory in a national election. And that that one is the one which cemented George W. Bush's reputation with the RNC.

• Anyway, here's mine:  Hire a stand-in. Professor Irwin Corey's still kicking.

• And another, in the form of a general maxim: Whistling past the graveyard's never kept anybody out of one.

• Your man's a dog. And not a friendly, lovable mutt or a scary, throat-removal dog, but one of those prancing purebreds with its own special haircut. This race is over. Sure, sure, it ain't over til it's over, and Michael Dukakis was ahead at this point (ahem), and whatever else you wanna tell yourself, rather than tell yourself that your brand sucks, and is nowhere near as popular as you pretend it is, a conclusion which is based, apparently, on taking Reagan's approval ratings in 1982, comparing them to 1989, and assuming continued growth at that rate ever since.

You can keep telling yourself that Obama's vulnerable, that his domestic record is abysmal, and keep looking for reasons (in the main, Mitt Romney) you're not crushing him, but so long as you keep denying what thirty years of Republican rule actually brought to this country you're going to be caught in that endless spin cycle. He's the guy your own people judged the most electable from that crowd of mixed nuts of yours. And rightly so. Just not electable enough, because this time four years isn't enough time for everyone to forget just who screwed up the most, and who benefited.

• And another thing, maybe you shouldn't'a gone Full Metal Socialism three weeks into the Obama administration, and you'd have something more now than Paul Ryan claiming Librul Media bias, fee chrissakes. The Wake Up Call! It's coming from inside the house!


synykyl said...

Here are my suggestions for Mitt:

1) Dump Ann and Ryan and replace them with someone, or something, more likeable. (The Manson Family, leeches, or buckets of pus would all be improvements)

2) Claim that you were brainwashed by libertarians and that you were for the 47% before you were against it.

3) Pretend, a la Dallas, that your campaign so far was just a dream.

4) Drop out of the race and take a road trip with your family. This time, let the dog ride *inside* the fucking car.

Keifus said...

a conclusion which is based, apparently, on taking Reagan's approval ratings in 1982, comparing them to 1989, and assuming continued growth at that rate ever since.

I think their understanding of the economy comes from the very same place.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post. That last line--"Nightmare on Elm Street?" Perfect, anyway. You do this writing for FREE? All the better, if you don't need the $$. Who would presume to play editor?


prairie curmudgeon said...

Republicans in or out of the white house prolly won't make much difference when most of us are deluded with the prospect that things will go on much as they have in the past, that the American Way (the Republican way) of Living will not be negotiated, that we will adapt to climate change by burning MORE fossil fuel, that we never intend to pay down the freaking debt even if we have the means to do so, that the US military will not continue to spend even more money, and that the cornucopian pony will continue to emerge from the pile of shit. 'Course Romney would synergize the shitty outcome that much faster, cascade the tipping points even quicker, but in the end, the end will come out looking bout the same. Even so, end the folly quicker by electing Romney ain't much of a theme to get one elected to illusionist in chief.

prairie curmudgeon said...

meant: that the US military will continue to spend even more money