Friday, July 14

For Those Of You Who Thought "Hell's Kitchen" was in New York City


Robert Scheer, Indianapolis Star

That would be the winner (yes, the winner) of the Indiana State Fair signature food (yes, food) competition.

Let's let the creator explain it:

"I tried coating strawberries with chocolate. But the funnel cake batter wouldn't stick to it," (Joanie Monroe) said. "And I experimented with freezing the strawberries, but I wasn't happy with the results."
Monroe will use fresh strawberries, which are skewered, battered and deep fried before being topped with chocolate sauce, powdered sugar and more strawberries.
"The strawberries have a lot going for them as a great fair food, since they're deep fried and served on a stick, and I think a lot of people will look forward to trying them," Cindy Hoye, Indiana State Fair executive director, said via e-mail....

Monroe's strawberries took 30 percent of the vote; the pre-packaged Cool Dog frozen treat got 23 percent; Deep-Fried Sauerkraut Balls received 18 percent; Cream-Filled Deep-Fried Puff Balls took 15 percent; and Caramel Popcorn Pie won 12 percent.

No word on how you get funnel cake batter to stick to sauerkraut; you'll just have to experiment. My only question is this: if that thing crawled into your tent in the wilds one night, would your first thought be to reach for a frying pan or a flyswatter?

11 comments:

D. Sidhe said...

Um. This whole thing has me wanting to make exceptionally tacky comments about how the strawberries there look like fingers wrapped around it.

I mean, Jesus. My prized recipes include Spam And Velveeta Quiche (With Ritz Cracker Crust), Fish Stick Stir Fry, and Hot Dog Stroganoff. And you *still* couldn't put that on my plate without me laughing myself into unconsciousness.

That's practically Saucy Tarts Bakery worthy.

And my apologies to any small children who read this blog.

heydave said...

I'm struggling to identify which groups in the Food Pyramid might be represented in that thing. The closest I've come is seeing it as the mortar between (perhaps clogging?) the space between parts of the pyramid.

corndog said...

As a battered, deep-fried carnival delicacy myself, I would like to be the first to disavow this abomination. Stick with the classics, I say. And get those damn kids to pull up their pants, while you're at it. Consarnit!

MikeEss said...

It looks like what the Bushites are trying to shove up all our asses...

isabelita said...

Good fricking grief. Fresh strawberries are "great fair food"!!! What the hey, why not deep fry cotton candy? Globs of pure lard? How wide is the average ass in Indiana?

Uncle Mike said...

My first thought would be: "Where's the plunger? The toilet's backed up again!"

But that's just me.

KathyR said...

I think mikeess thinks it looks like what I think it looks like.

fiver said...

How wide is the average ass in Indiana?

Speaking as a longtime resident of Southern Indiana, I can tell you that you do NOT want to know the answer to that question.

Mudge said...

It's Monday..you simply must get that thing off of here..post something on Larry Bird, or John Dillinger..or a fireworks update

something..anything

harry near indy said...

i live here but i don't defend that crap.

i can't help it if a lot of hoosiers are idiots. i just try not to as idiotic as they are.

heydave said...

Happy Birthday (7/18) Hunter S.