Tuesday, November 24

MILTJSATTGOMOEPs: Moms I'd Like To Just Skip Ahead To The Gouging Out My Own Eyes Part

OKAY, so I swore off, and at, the notion that Sarah Palin should be news just because somebody plunked down Bucks for her celebrity tell-naught--even ignoring Ross Douthat's brain-dead Wither the GOP? column yesterday for his equally lively "blogging" efforts. But then more than a couple things happened, chief among them that Roy paid it enough attention to fix it for posterity:
I don't think it occurs to Douthat that maybe Palin was getting out of politics, not because it was too hard, but because the getting was good.

and I was forced, really, to compare the high fiber of of the skeptical realist with the mushy peas of the "real" media diet. Frank Rich, while questioning Palin's intelligence, diligence, track record, and, well, sanity, nevertheless lectured that she'll be able to write her own ticket where 2012 is concerned, and may yet prove a bellwether for the next pseudo-populist demagogue who follows, but without the baggage.

Now, I think this is wrong, for the same reason so much of the CW is, and so frequently: its jumping-off point is its own cozy analysis of events, not the events themselves. Palin doesn't have "baggage". Okay, she does, sure, but it's hardly her major problem, which is, and shall remain, that she's a freaking lunatic, which, however sizable, is nevertheless still a minority viewpoint. This is undoubtedly too coarse and too facile a reading for the nation's Script Supervisors, but that doesn't make it untrue. It really is time we stop elevating FOX News-sponsored spontaneous rallies and bizarre personality cults to the level of populist manifesto. They didn't save Bush; they didn't rescue Iraq or Afghanistan, despite the "mainstream" climbing aboard; they didn't make Fred Dumbo Thompson the Republican nominee nor Sarah Palin Vice-President. This is just the ticcy mannerism of the Beltway insider too lazy to investigate something which would only wind up making his job more difficult and his inbox more vulnerable to the dreaded wingnut complaint.

You can't write an entire column about how the woman is the latest in a long line of cheap chiselers working the religious carnival circuit--evidently you can't--but if you knew something about the Midwest you might have recognized what happened to former Indiana GOP chairman Mike McDaniel last Friday on Indiana Week in Review, which is a sort of local-PBS-produced version of The McLaughlin Group, except, this being Indiana, there's very little crosstalk and absolutely no Democrats. McDaniel squirmed under the blandest inquiry about her chances in 2012, fell to calling her someone who "says what she believes" (you can't believe that!) and "a conservative voice", one which, it was clear, he'd just as soon not lead the party's comeback attempt next time 'round. This is no scruple about her "baggage" or her complete absence of policy, uh, awareness; after all this is the party of Ronald Naptime Reagan and George W. Bush. If a naked Kenyan shaman with severe ringworm had a clear shot at replacing Barack Obama they'd be working on making Africa the 51st state. Even minor party functionaries with a distinct personal stake in returning to power don't want Palin leading the charge, in no small part because they understand what a fucking disaster she'd be, and there's no money in it for them--unlike the gentlemen of the Press--to promote one. True, this may not be enough to keep her from running (as though anything approximating "reality" ever touches her), but if you don't recognize it at this point maybe you should just shut up.

Just shut up. It's true I haven't taken my own advice about her, but in my defense I wasn't offering it to myself. More like Matthew Dowd, Bush campaign strategist and ABC News (surprise!) political analyst, who tells literally hundreds of Washington Post readers today how Palin could become our next President.
Those having concerns about my objectivity or wondering whether I am a "Palinista" should keep in mind that I raised serious questions about her qualifications last fall -- doubts I still have -- and that I predicted John McCain would look back at his vice presidential pick with remorse.

Hey, thanks for eliminating that nagging suspicion for us, Matthew. Meanwhile, he favors a two-pronged approach: Palin should be more like the sort of candidate Matthew Dowd would vote for, and Barack Obama should lose.

Fer cryin' out loud, the woman doesn't need campaign advice. She needs business advice, preferably of the Entertainment variety. Though personally I think she should go with William S. Burroughs: show up late, and leave the buyer hungry. Take the gilt and git, and spend your energies figuring out if there's anyplace farther away than Alaska.

6 comments:

Christopher said...

Who the Republican candidate is, and his or her qualifications and abilities, will matter only if Obama's approval rating is between 47 and 51 percent going into the fall of 2012.

This is sort of missing the forest for the trees, isn't it? This seems to be a common problem with political analysts, this tendency to say things like "Given that our democracy is a complete sham, how can Sarah Palin win the election?" and then act as though the part about the wholesale failure of the American Experiment is just a footnote to the really important question of whether Palin could possibly maybe run for President perhaps.

Anonymous said...

Wither the GOP?

One can only hope. Nice pun.

╩╗Loha

Pookapooka

M. Bouffant said...

"Literally hundreds."

Heh.

satch said...

If it helps any, think of Palin, not as Bush in a skirt, but as George Wallace in stilettos

scott said...

Now you're insulting George Wallace who at least had his come to Jeebus moment later in life. Sorry Sarah's decades away from that.

StringonaStick said...

It's the tenacity of these Xtian assholes that gets to me; C Street, The Family, etc. They've wormed themselves so deeply into DC and national politics that even Hillary feels the need to make nice to the Family, she just does so quietly. It makes me wonder if The Family doesn't control the media and what stories are covered...

And here we see why Xtians of the political stripe are different than you or me; I can read something, assess my POV, and perhaps even change my mind, but a Family member simply keeps marching forward with their orders in hand, American democracy be damned.

I know, I know, a little OT, but the one thing The Family will make sure doesn't happen is for an uncontrollable lunatic like Palin to get the nomination. She might be Xtian enough, but she isn't stealth enough for their designs.