It's A Shame They Did Away With Vaudeville, Pt. 7004

Peggy Noonan, "The Big Alienation: Uncontrolled borders and Washington's lack of self-control". May 1

OKAY, let's answer this one quickly, in case anyone's planning to cut out early for the weekend: No, Peggers; the problem is that people such as yourself followed Ronald Fucking Reagan down the goddam Rathole of Political Insanity thirty-some odd years ago, and never fucking noticed, excusing, along the way, any goddam piece of brain-dead crackpotism you imagined advanced the Sacred Cause: Trickle-down Economics, Flag-burning amendments, opposition to 19th century Biology, manufactured outrage over the Panama Canal, manufactured outrage over the B-1, manufactured outrage over Elian Gonzalez, Filegate, Travelgate, Lincolnbedroomgate, Blowjobgate--you people had Millennial Apoplexy over a Presidential hummer, Ms Noonan--Vandalgate, Giftgate, Pardongate, the Vince Foster hit, 2,200 Hillary Clinton: Homicidal Maniac or Murderous Bitch? books, Al Gore selling the White House to the Chinese, Al Gore: Serial Prevaricator, Al Gore: Beard Sporter, Fifth Columnists, Moslems on Airplanes, Suitcase bombs, Sleeper cells, the imminent nuclear threat posed by Saddam Hussein, Freedom fries, Crescent-shaped Memorials, Prophet cartoons, Bush Derangement Syndrome, Purple bandaids, Purple fingers, John Kerry: Combat Scratch Recipient, John Kerry: Bogus Windsurfer, Liberal Fascism, and that's before we mention Barack Hussein Obama, or how every news outlet in the country is biased against you. Okay, that didn't shorten things much, but maybe you get the picture: you have no business anymore excusing raging dipshitism, not-quite-crypto racism, or full-on certifiable political insanity as the slightly excessive, but fully understandable, acts of a few people driven beyond endurance by the sudden Socialist threat to Their Sacred Way of Life. The only thing that's changed is that some of you, now, recognize the political ramifications of having your bigotry and Xenophobia on display for all to see, as opposed to the last forty years of winking and nodding. There ain't no difference between the Arizona party and the party in general; the Unnecessarily Draconian has been a big part of your appeal since the War. By the same token, daring to criticize the Bush administration equally, now that that comes cost-free, is not the same thing as principled bipartisanship.

Which reminds me: those people in the "middle" who're so riled up? Always were. Maybe you'd know that if you ever met one. Or maybe you do know that, and we've just never heard you talk about it when you thought your mic was off.