Monday, April 12
A Waste Of Good Plantation Land
FIRST, kudos to CBS for making sure its announcing team for the Masters perfectly mirrored the uniformly white, 100% evidently male membership of Augusta. Not that I suppose this required anything more strenuous than hitting Redial, but in an age where even our sacred remembrance of the men who killed 110,000 Americans because their betters wanted to confer the political benefits of the 3/5 Compromise upon their descendants in perpetuity is smeared by Political Correctness run amok, it's good to see that at least one corporate megagiant understands the value of buttering the right side of the bread, as well as good old-fashioned trowel work.
I was prepared to ignore that Nike ad, as fascinating a cultural artifact as it is, but not Augusta Chairman Billy Payne delivering a moral rebuke to a guy who had boffed a few cocktail waitresses from the pulpit of America's most hallowed shrine to racism and sexism in Sport.
Then I tuned in yesterday* just in time to hear Jim Nantz take Tiger to task for issuing a swear or two on Five the day before, despite his promise not to. Yes, this is the same Jim Nantz who admitted "dating" a 29-year-old during his weepy testimony at his divorce proceedings last November, and, yes, that would be on the same CBS network which had for the previous fourteen years studiously avoided showing any of Tiger's legendary bad on-course behavior, while doing endless slo-mo replays any time Long John Daily belched.
And, y'know, I'm well beyond asking if anyone has any shame left, or a modicum of self-respect, or enough historical perspective to produce a moment's pause here. And the only danger I see in golf disappearing from the face of the planet tomorrow is that it might give Huey Lewis an excuse to go back in the studio. I don't suppose it occurred to anyone to check if the hookers in Augusta were holding a bake sale this weekend, what with all the suddenly celibate tourists leavin' their Cialis at home an' all.
No, I just say again: whenever you hear all this pious Judeo-Christian claptrap, just note how willing these pious hypocrites are to risk Eternal Gehenna Fire provided there's a buck or two in it.
* Amazin', really, what the anonymity of the internets gets people to admit.
Labels: White People in the News