Tuesday, January 4

It Is Indisputable That Ronald Reagan Put More Crazy People On The Streets Than All Other Presidents Combined, Vol. MCCVI

Ross Douthat, "Twenty Right-To-Life Buzzwords In Search of a Comprehensible Position". January 2

BRAVE Indiana blogger Doug Masson brings us word of Indiana Senate Bill 50, which would require a pregnant woman seeking to terminate a pregnancy to undergo an ultrasound at least 18 hours prior, to listen to the audio of the heartbeat, if any, and to receive a copy, presumably on her choice of DVD or Blu-Ray. This follows the late attempt to force abortion providers to inform potential clients that fetuses feel pain, because a bunch of small-town Republican big-shots say it does, and the more recent attempt to require every reproductive center to be blessed by a priest. I'm thinking the next desperate attempt to keep Negroes from voting interfere with a Constitutionally-protected right will be mandatory baby books, or abortion showers. Or perhaps requiring the woman to bring in a designated Fetus Jar, made in the USA.

This comes on the heels of Ross Douthat's return from Holiday, four days and a hod or two of bricks short of an Epiphany. It takes exactly one article ("The") before Ross mentions American Entertainment, which is "conservative" for "I got nothin'"; it's 105 more to "Juno" and "Knocked Up", which qualifies as restraint. (Incidentally: I'm a 57-year-old curmudgeon. A pack of specially-trained wolverines could not drag me into a movie starring anyone named "Seth", let alone listen to someone who uses one to launch a rhetorical point. I happened to see two minutes of Juno on the teevee, one minute and fifty-five seconds of which can be accounted for by my paralytic stupefaction at what I was seeing, that is to say, hearing. Th' fuck? Anybody trotting out the goddam synopsis of that piece of overripe tripe for political purposes should be forced to quote ten minutes of the dialog first. From memory. )

And, y'know what? I'm tired. I've been fighting Mitch Daniels' New Improved Bureau of Motor Vehicles for a week now, during which period I've made four trips to the place. Now that he doesn't need any votes the place has reverted, except that the computer system is much faster. The computer system was purchased by the last Democratic administration, which apparently had someone spec the thing, elicit competitive bids, and select the best deal. The Daniels administration tech selections have involved asking which member of the Inner Circle is next up on Gravy Servin' Duty. (Presently, we just can't seem to get the Unemployment Insurance website working right. Imagine that. Imagine how long it would take to get fixed if it also handled tee times.)

So, look, Ross-boy, and th' rest of ya: if you don't have any more arguments, shut up and ban abortion. Period. Simple. Up-or-down vote on a Constitutional amendment. No fudging. No weaseling. Abortion is murder. Mothers and doctors go to prison. No rape exceptions, no incest exceptions, none of this Bill Saletan Compromise of 1850 shit. Do it. Starting now, until it's finished. Full rights for blastocysts from the moment of fertilization.

No more warm fuzzy stories of upper-class white women who'll do anything for a baby short of adopting a non-white one with emotional difficulties. No more solutions that ignore half the equation; no more pretending that your moral objection doesn't include contraception. No more Fundraising Without End. Action.


R. Porrofatto said...

In addition to your abortion showers, digital facial imaging could show would-be baby killers what their fetus will look like at 5 and 10 years of age, with virtual settings and costumes showing the fetus graduating from college, getting married, and aborting their own babies.

Murr Brewster said...

I'm a 57-year-old curmudgette who thoroughly enjoyed this romp. Got sent over here by, oh, who knows, I can't even finish my sentences any more. I had to get my first abortion because the genetic counselor said I ran too high a risk of the kid turning out something like me, and I'd still be in prison for recidivism if Fancypants Douthat got his way--I swear, some people, if you birth 'em, you spoil 'em.

Come on over to Oregon. Our DMV trip the last time I flew in and out so fast my car was tested before I could write out the check. Pissed me off. I brought stuff to read.

Anonymous said...

I'm only 55, but consider myself every bit the curmudgeon you do. Screw Ross Douthat, or for that matter, ANY person who would insert themselves between a woman, her physician and possibly the father of the child. The last would be allowed to offer his opinion, but have no further standing in the argument. Yet another outstanding entry, sir, thank you.

Sator Arepo said...

As a devoted reader and aspiring ur-curmudgeon, I feel that I have to say that Juno was (much to my surprise) actually quite good.


How/why/in what way the Times ("All the news..&c") feels it necessary/right/sensible in any way to keep paying Rossy D to write (or "write") is beyond me.

satch said...

Y'know what? Be careful what you wish for on the "up or down vote" thing. I was actually happy when CA put Prop 8 on the ballot, because I thought "OK, now we'll settle the gay rights thing once and for all." Imagine my surprise when, after the dust settled, gay rights had been hammered into the ground by ignorant bigots under the cover of the anonymity of the voting booth.