Saturday, March 30

Holy Weekend Olio: Miraculous Imprints Of The Inside Of Your Own Eyeballs Edition

• If there was a God She'd be way too embarrassed to allow this Shroud of Turin horseshit to come up year after year after fucking year. Q.E.D.

By the way, for extra laughs, there's the usually authoritative Wikipedia slog, which spends its entire "Science" section referring to people who don't believe this is the single, gosh-darned, authentic proof of something no one's ever found a scrap of other evidence for, in a couple thousand years of a billion people trying, as "skeptics". 

• Shorter Michael Gerson,  Fred Hiatt's Petting Zoo Sennightly:  All the gravestones at the American Normandy cemetery are either crosses or Stars of David. Things were much better then.
Those cheering the trend of religious disaffiliation should consider some broader social consequences. The rise of the nones is symptomatic of the decline of many forms of belonging. According to Pew, all of the recent growth in the nones has come among those who are not married. This indicates a group of people distrustful of institutions, with marriage being the most basic of institutions. The unaffiliated donate less to charity than do the affiliated. They participate in fewer volunteer organizations. Individualism can easily become atomization. Whatever else you may think of the communitarian creeds, they help create community.
Really, th' fuck happened to you people? How did religious observance turn into an infomercial? Yeah, there are a few crackpots out there like me, who like to poke you for praying on the hustings, and demanding Special Recognition for your own particular peccadilloes, but most people would be content to leave you alone to believe whatever it is you believe. Just turn the volume down, huh? It's for your own good

And, for the record, that's "the affiliated self-report donating more to charity. They also report attending church twice as often as they, uh, actually do. 

• Dear Lord, is it not simply enough to report that the title of this thing is "Time to stop hooking up. (You know you want to.)" ?

If not, then this is:
When I was an undergraduate at Georgetown University in the early 1990s, my roommate and I dressed up like prostitutes for Halloween. We bought fishnets, wore our tightest, sexiest clothes and sauntered out like we were the hottest girls alive.
I remember that night fondly, even though my feminist sensibilities cringe a little now. For me, that costume was a form of sexual experimentation. I chose to dress sexier than I ever had and to stretch the boundaries of what I considered acceptable. And back then, I didn’t know anyone else who had done it.
Yeah, back in the 90s, when everyone was prudish.

Half the damned research, you should pardon the expression, involves the rather obviously Catholic Freitas interviewing Catholic students at Catholic schools, and finding a distinction between what they do and what they say they believe, or "feel." Stop the Presses! Alert the Curia! Then blaming The Culture. One forgets, sometimes, just how valuable Commies were in their day. 

Dating is Dead! We might call this the Lawrence Welk Conundrum; the Welk Show's still playing on PBS, despite the fact that anyone who volunteered to watch that blend of de-sensualized music and blinding polyester hues the first time around is long since dead. That it still exists, and that the "Welk Stars" continue to pack 'em in in Branson, is to cultural studies what claims of mysterious scat piles are to Bigfoot. 

Why don't you fucking worry about guns? Or the economy? And not whether young adults like the sex, or have the sex, or might regret having the sex? Take it from someone who's had it more than once: it doesn't need the evil cachet of trendiness to recommend it.

• Pope washes female feet; crowd goes wild. Both fer and agin'. Wasn't this guy infallible as little as a week ago?  


Fiddlin Bill said...

At first I thought the quote about dressing up like "prostitutes" was still Gerson. Too bad. That would have been pretty cool.

R. Porrofatto said...

Note to Fox News: "according to The Daily Telegraph" is probably not the most reliable indicator of scientific veracity.

The annual Easter "Turin Shroud Genuine Article" feature is always entertaining, but the bestest Shroud spinoff had to be the 80's Broadway musical, Into the Light, or, as a friend up for a part liked to call it, Jesus Christ Tablecloth.

DocAmazing said...

Gerson's a plainclothes prostitute.

heydave said...

It amazes me how easily you seem to find sludge like the stories displayed here, and then it depresses me how readily I read it. That such peoples really exist makes my brain hurt.

Kathy said...

I saw a documentary (?) possibly on the -gasp- Science Channel, that PROVED, oh all right- showed convincing evidence- that the Shroud may have been wrapped around a..... wait for it.... statue of Jesus. In one experiment, they smeared dye on some guy and wrapped him up in a big-white-sheet, then un-wrapped him... the image he made was smeary and stretched out horizontally. Heh. I had a good laugh.

Now where were we? Oh, those brave, brave girls in their mini-skirts and fishnet tights... I am referring to the girls at my High School in 1979. Even me, from time to time. Fishnet stockings are painful on the bottoms of the feet and on the bottom

Yastreblyansky said...

"Time to stop hooking up. (You know you want to.)"

would be a terrific title for a rhythm and blues song.

Anonymous said...

Doghouse, this story deserves your special attention:

Gov. Pence coerces state senate to draft bill making possession of over 1/3 ounce of marijuana a felony.

Anonymous said...

Some folks I know consider their tithing as a charitable contribution. I consider it membership dues to a country club.

It's easy to think you're more charitable than you really are.

Ebon Krieg said...

Nice look; change can be good...

Anonymous said...

"... I didn’t know anyone else who had done it."

Lop off the last 4 words and you've hit their basic Problem right on the head.


Anonymous said...

Interestingly, John 20 describes the cloth found in the tomb as comprised of "strips of linen" and a separate cloth used to wrap Jesus's head. Another version describes the head cloth as "folded."