Thursday, May 16

I Thought I'd Missed The Kickoff, Then I Realized That Was Sixty-Five Years Ago

I'VE been working on my bike tan, finally. I'm sorry that this did not result in the photograph it should have, that of a young woman in running clothes (everyone's in running clothes. People wake up, put on running clothes, then walk two blocks of the Trail to get a coffee, and walk back) holding her cellphone to her face as she wept openly. The picture was entitled "Why you shouldn't carry a cellphone on the Trail", but I didn't get it because I don't have a cellphone.

Anyway, it's been nice to approach Scandal Scandal Scandal from the perspective of Not Exactly Giving Two Shits. Benghazi! Benghazi! Benghazi!!!? First, it began on FOX News, which is itself a finding of fact. Second, since when are Americans supposed to be interested in something that has three consonants in a row? Finally, the only real scandal here is that had we listened to the wise counsel of the Republican party we'd have had thousands of boots on the ground in Libya, and none of this would have happened. If I remember correctly. 

The AP case? Yeah, I'm with you. Leaks? Welcome to Richard Nixon's America, those of you who may've dozed off for a few decades.

However, of all the things giving Jon Stewart the opportunity to show his principled bi-partisanship (what did the Daily Show staff do over spring break? They're still fucking hung over. My Poor Wife has already expressed her willingness to skip the recordings right over to Colbert) the one I'm down with is the IRS giving the stinkeye to Teabag slush funds for a good ten minutes before passing. Welcome, Brothers! Hey, before we begin, why don't you open your orientation materials to the 40 volumes entitled The FBI Ignores Organized Crime To Focus On Commie Celebrities? Then I'll need your signatures on this Apology Letter to the Rosenberg children. Glad to see you all made it out with your hats! 


Anonymous said...

Contra..3 consonants

tony in san diego said...

I am with you on John Stewart. He is the worst interveiwer in the world! He can't end a sentence with the same idea he started with. Watch him....he cannot formulate a sentence.

Fiddlin Bill said...

Watched The Big Sleep again last evening to avoid the news. It was nice to see Dog House Riley on the case.

Calming Influence said...

Read your post earlier today, and "since when are Americans supposed to be interested in something that has three consonants in a row?" became lodged in my mind. And as I moseyed about the vast Influence Manor Estate, champagne flute held lightly between thumb and forefinger, I pondered the relationship between the persistence interest in particular scandals and the language used to describe them.

-gate, for instance. What would we have called the Nixon scandal if the plumbers had broken into a Red Lion Inn or a Motel 6 rather than the Watergate? Benghazi certainly does roll off the tongue, and it might not be too far-fetched to think that if the embassy attack had occurred somewhere else, it might have been more difficult for it to get any traction as a scandal.

So as I watched as the peacocks rutting in the rose garden, I wondered: what if the embassy had been located in Wales?

Anonymous said...

Calming Influence, if the Watergate scandal had happened today, they'd have to call it Watergate-gate.