Tuesday, September 4

Another Titanic Idea

SOMEHOW Roy manages to do more work while taking two weeks off for his honeymoon than I can manage in full repose. But the suggestion of a Creators' Day, to counterbalance Parasites' Day just past, has lifted my topor just a bit. I mean, when you think about it, it's absolutely true.  Where would we be without Jobs Creators? We'd all be serfs.

So, c'mon Thalidomide babies. Raise your hands for Grünenthal.

You citizens of Bophal, stand up for Union Carbide.

Kids! Yell and scream for Dow Chemical!

Americans of African descent, don't turn your backs on your economic masters.

Don't be a shut-in, Triangle Shirwaist workers! Come on down and join the parade!

Light a candle, Ford Pinto owners!

In fact, everybody. From Love Canal

to the Gulf of Mexico.

From Prince William Sound

to Centralia, PA.

Hell, let's teach the world to sing. From Portsall Rocks

to Minimata

Let's raise a glass of wine and propylene glycol to our betters, to the people who don't mind if we draw oxygen provided it's not too inconvenient and they don't have to watch. Let us sit down to the traditional meal of Bon Vivant ™ Vichyssoise, Pink Slime burgers, Wright County™ Egg Salad, and Thousand Year Old Twinkies. And give thanks that fully one of those items is a joke.


R. Porrofatto said...

Fitting, germane, and any reminder of the work of W. Eugene Smith is always appreciated. You could add Imperial Food Products, Massey Energy, and hundreds more similar job creators but the post would be endless. To be fair, Grünenthal just apologized 50 years faster than Merck has for Vioxx, and the NY Times just gifted us with a puff piece on Tony Hayward's magical makeover to reassure us that there's life after disaster. So thank you, job creators!

Anonymous said...

I was six years old and living in Anchorage when that drunk fuck of a captain and his crew of incompetents managed to drive the Exxon Valdez aground. I still vivdly remember my (lovely) first-grade teacher showing the class pictures from the newspaper and bits of TV news she'd managed to record on her VCR. I remember her quietly, expressionlessly tearing up while she patiently explained to us what it all meant: that a wildlife refuge was now full of oil and soap and people in yellow suits with hoses, and it wouldn't be clean again until we were all grown up and had our own kids.

It was what you call a "formative experience".

Fuck Creator Day. In fact, fuck the entire game: it's the same tired expression of privelege. It's the same thing as "Why isn't there a White History Month?" The conservative commentariat reflexively identifies with the oppressors and the purveyors of careless and casual damage, and sees any potential gain or even acknowledgement of the means and targets of those actions as an attack--which has to be repelled, or what would be left of their worldview?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Yesterday was "Creator's Day" too, according to alleged human Eric Cantor.

synykyl said...

Those Vietnamese kids are lucky they weren't in France in '68 with Mitt. Napalm may be bad, but nothing burns like the disdain of the French.

Anonymous said...

According to some senior federal judge in Colorado, corporations have religious beliefs, so we have to spend the day in church !