1) Cheney resigns if indicted. Why? His inherent sense of fairness? His abiding respect for the rule of law? To unburden himself of cumbersome advantages and defense-fundraising opportunities not available to the private citizen?
2) Condimelda named new Veep. Get out more. This GOP partisan wank fantasy dates to 2003. Cheney was going to step down as candidate and be replaced by the Instep Queen (alternately by McCain or Rudy, whose wank quotients I'm not going to consider). It was, then as now, based solely on the idea that her candidacy would create a huge rent in the Democratic base as African-Americans and women deserted the party and their self-interests to vote for "one of their own". This, in turn, is based on the standard basement-dwelling right-wing commenter having no notion of women or African-Americans, never having had a close relationship with either, and so assuming they're as stupid as everyone else who disagrees with his tiniest cephalic event.
Apparently some of this was inspired by U.S. News and World Report, in my day the preferred resource for high school debating squads, and one which I thought had gone the way of Collier's. Here's a excerpt of the sort of insight their Beltway insider status can provide:
"It's certainly an interesting but I still think highly doubtful scenario," said a Bush insider. "And if that should happen," added the official, "there will undoubtedly be those who believe the whole thing was orchestrated – another brilliant Machiavellian move by the VP."
Precisely my thought when I first heard the rumors: "Curse you, Dick Cheney, you brilliant Machiavellian!"