Last evening, after cleverly disguising myself as a bald, middle-aged suburbanite, I took a tour of churches within a couple miles of my home. Sixteen churches. Not one single solitary creche.
"Ha!" I thought. "Ha ha!" How can they expect me to honor the most sacred season on the Christian calendar when they so obviously don't?
But then it occurred to me--maybe some other Anti-Christmas guerilla cell had stolen them all. Note to self: figure out how to contact the Underground.
Either way, it seems like encouraging news. Just for the record, I did spot one primary-colored plastic Nativity on a private lawn. Also numerous Santas, some quadruped ruminants, possibly of the order Artiodactyla, numerous snowmen, none made of snow, and an assortment of very large candies. Plus two neglected U.S. flags and a Notre Dame Fighting Irish banner, which must count for something.
I do live on the tonier side of town, so my sample may include a greater proportion of mainstream churches whose members are all going to Hell anyway, and the final count includes both a Seventh Day Adventist compound and a Quaker meeting hall, neither of whom could be expected to participate. For the sake of completeness I drove past two Synagogues, just to see if they'd gotten the message that tolerance means honoring the dominant culture. Not yet.