Monday, June 18

MoDo: Just the Hot Parts

MAUREEN Dowd is a columnist. For the New York Times. The following is from her column. In the New York Times. It was (as far as I can tell) a column about the race for President. Of the United States. It was in the New York Times.

busty brunette
wriggles
pink bikini
frolicking
surf
undulating
red underwear
Obama
teased
Obama Girl model
music video
lipsyncs
sultry-catchy [sic]
featured cage dancer
dreamboy
beef up
image
buzz
beefcake
pretty boy
drawing attention
superficial charms
Ralph Lauren
shop
clothes
GQ
cover
how good he looked
swimsuit
oppo-researchers
sneering
Clintons
sleazy
pelting
juicy
conflicts
Obama Boys
whack
cloak-and-dagger
Clinton camp
leaking
over-the-top
stereotyping
flippant
rich
supermarket mogul
fly on his plane
his pal Bill
fund
tut-tuts
astrological software
Playboy
Leo
First Lad
$10 million a year
$150,000
Hillaryland
panting
an opportunity to paint
hoists his pedestal so high he's bound to fall off
proving he's pure
proving he's tough
act high-minded and do-gooding [sic]
hit men
tangled in contradictions high and low
saint and killer
Hillary
moves like a shark
lean over
bite his ear off
Charlie Cook, the political analyst
do what it takes
immaculate conception
busy
modeling
so easily wrapped around the fingers
rich
willing
give them millions
Al Capone

8 comments:

Julia said...

toxic
bitter
encarnadine
alpha male's pet
relentlessly kittenish corporate streetfighter and eligible AARP member
asshole

Gee, this is fun

D. Sidhe said...

That pretty much sums it up. You mind if I go for the home game and start doing this to each of her columns, in popular Letter To The Editor format? Sooner or later, someone might get embarrassed enough to knock it off.

norbizness said...

Think of Times Select as a radiation shield and stop leaking.

KathyR said...

Oppo-researchers always make me hot.

Scott C. said...

Wow. Madlibs used to be fun when I was a kid, but now it's just gotten kinda creepy.

By the way, my verification word is "rexfuqqf." Drop the silent F from the end and you have MoDo's every column from the 90s, rendered into faux Latin. Classy.

Anonymous said...

I donno - is it possible to embarrass the Times if one is only a umble reader?

Seems about as likely as George Bush reading any of those "Mr. President: I urge you to stop destroying old-growth forests/sonaring the whales/screwing our veterans/demolishing the Constitution, before it's too late. Yours respectifully, A Constituent" petitions one gets from various commie dogooder groups when they're pleading for funds. I send 'em a few spondulix, often as not, but the composing, laying-out, printing, mailing, signing, and re-mailing of petitions addressed to that encapsulated git is pure tree-wastage.

Li'l Innocent

arghous said...

I for one am ready for sultry-catchy [sic]. It's the new Democracy, Whiskey, Sexy.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, well, I caught me some sultry, and so far, the ointment is not working.

Larkspur

(who thinks that Mo-Do is capable of so much more, because she used to show it now and then, and now she doesn't so much any more, and so I figure she chose the champagne trough over the explication of true things, which is more like handing out pure cold water, and Mo-Do, water is better)