Sunday, January 18

Heil and Farewell


I SUPPOSE the Limbaughs, the Aileses, the Malkenseses, the Bozells, and the Cornerites will be with us Always; like cockroaches, the clap, and shithouse rats, the seamless melding of vermin and environment is the difference between evolutionary success and failure, and God's Own Blowtorch burns hot but sadly indiscriminate. In truth I have no real idea how they and their ilk will fare in the coming years, but I do know that conventional recourses--accuracy, honesty, shame, ridicule, decency--have proven notoriously non-lethal to this point. Though it is also the case that a strong, if minority, opinion holds they must be kept around lest in eliminating them entirely we fall prey to some more loathsome insect, one with the possibility of approaching human-like cognitive functions.

Somewhere, this time next year, a Britt Hume or a Sean Hannity will discuss "the news" on FOX, a Richard Perle or a Frank Gaffney will pocket a speaking fee, a David Frum or a Glenn Beck will assault innocent NPR listeners. A year from now Laura Bush's book will be one year closer to the remainder bin, and, if the wind is southerly, Condi Rice might be close to finding a deal for hers. Peggy Noonan will see angels or talk to monuments. The economy is always sunny for fixers and image consultants and lobbyists and button men; not Andy Card, Dan Bartlett, nor Dan Senor will miss any meals. Colin Powell will eke out a living intoning military-sounding management tips when he's not helping his wife vandalize public schools for that sweet, tax-exempt largesse. Whatever Dick Cheney is up to will, like an iceberg, remain 9/10ths hid, but a glimpse at the remainder will be enough to confirm that it's constructed of taxpayer dollars, severed baby parts, and bullshit. And somewhere Jonah Goldberg will say something that is both stupider and lazier than anything anyone's ever said before.

The Wheel goes 'round, the Moving Finger writes; the new Fall shows are just eight months away. We don't pretend to remember every atrocity, scandal, fuck-up, or Remarkable Act of Brave Cupidity this administration has foist upon us, and, frankly, at my age it's all begun to blend into Nixon and Reagan, anyway. We're too old to try to cheer anyone up, and anyhow it was never exactly our line. We say, only, enjoy this Rogue's gallery if you can, and let it stand for the hundreds of others time, space, and even the generous free hosting limits of a Blogger account prevent us from picturing here. They're far from gone, and many of those who're not presently incarcerated but are of no current use to what are euphemistically known as "Republican donors" will shortly be drawing government pensions. If we can't be cheery about it, we can at least express our hope, and our hope that many share our hope, that the filthy scum stain these people left on the Tidal Basin is their high-water mark, at least until the next hard rain.


"Pickles", your popularity was always based on the public's desperate
hope that, if it came to it, you'd prove up to the task of putting
poison in the man's Dr. Pepper. This being no longer needed, you're
about to find out just how deep that popularity ran.


Rent-a-White-Riots


KathERINE "Are You Here For an Affair?" Harris


The Hammer


Condimelda (thanks, Chris)


Bill "The Man Who Loved Cat Dancing" Frist


L. Paul "I Was Only Issuing Orders" Bremer


John "The Perfect Backdrop" Negroponte (thanks, Alex)


Rare support for Democracy among Congressional Republicans


A proud, proud moment for us all.


New Iraqi flag. Rumors it was designed by Simone Ledeen proved unfounded,
and besides, she took an Art class.


Cheer up, Mary. You'll always have Jimbo.


Mary "I Got Mine" Cheney


Bud Day, Patriot.


Meghan O'Sullivan. I understand you're not one of the major culprits, but look: I smoked dope constantly from 1969 to 1976, and I concluded that, high or not, I should not pursue a career where my decisions would impinge on public safety. Having posed for that sort of picture should have told you the same.


Monica Goodling. The Strategic Orgasm program is long overdue.


Former Representative Mark Foley (right), West Palm Beach, FL.


Ben Domenech, author.


Ken Blackwell, voting rights activist.


James "I Sorry, That Line Is Busy" Tobin


Ever notice how those WSJ gravures look like mug shots, but never are?


Darleen "Former Boeing Executive" Druyun (story here in case you missed it.)


Michael "On To Damascus" Ledeen


Holy Joe. In the spirit of that bipartisanship the kids are all diggin' today.

11 comments:

Kathy said...

Can one improve on perfection? I'd like to suggest you post the photo of Cheney in Germany, sitting in his huntin' parka at the ceremony for Holocaust victims, probably wishin' for a drink and his shotgun.

PS: "emetwel" as verification? Don't tell me that's an accident! I used to have fun at TMP with their verification words. Don't know why it's unpopular.

Uncle Omar said...

Tomorrow is the day I remove the "I never thought I'd miss Nixon." bumpersticker from my car. It's been a long time coming.

Larkspur said...

Yeah, that Cheney photo is pretty damn memorable. Made me wonder whether he was really supposed to have that chair, or whether, when he arrived, he found someone else sitting there, so he shot the guy in the face. La la la, festival seating.

Then there's Wolfowitz mouthing his comb. Oh, so many images, stuck forever in my brain. I'm really really really not ready to make nice.

LP Steve said...

It's Katherine Harris, not Kathleen. How quickly they forget...

Buttermilk Sky said...

NO SCALIA? Gore Vidal called it: he looks like the villain in a Puccini opera.

yellojkt said...

All those pictures should be on a Post Office wall.

Anonymous said...

Is Bill Frist demonstrating some sort of doctor-type implement as part of his contribution to the Schiavo controversy? I found that whole biz so disgusting I could hardly stand to pay attention to the news, so I wouldn't know. It looks like a cross between some exotic type of fungus and an equally exotic type of toasted marshmallow.

That pic is a twofer. In the background see Rick Santorum speculating whether Sen. Frist's technique might be applied to dogs, or men.

Li'l Innocent

heydave said...

How many ways does my heart yearn to invite these clown to fuck themselves?

Not fucking enough.

Doghouse Riley said...

It's Katherine Harris, not Kathleen.

Fixed, finally.

arghous said...

Maybe Monica just said 'no', but these last eight years did seem like a Republican orgasmatron. A few more suggested nostalgic photos for ya:

How about a Chris Mathews/Peggy Noonan flush from the mother of all bulges.

Or George Macaca in full regalia, moaning Dixie.

Or someone looking a little Haggard in the afterglow of some meth-addled preachin'.

And of course, all our honored representatives screaming "Under, oh God!!!" on the Capitol steps.

Anonymous said...

Yes, what IS that thing in Frist's hand? Is it real, or photoshopped?
Bile-inducing array, from Crazy Eyes to the chortling maggot face at the end.