Wednesday, March 7

Such Language!

We're running a little slow here due to a flare-up of my recurring medical condition ("schizophrenia"), but we do rise to vigorously protest the ginned-up outrage over off-color remarks (our position is clear, if currently edged in sparkly, rainbow-hued glorioles: you kids don't have to work blue just because Bob Saget does!) when the language is tortured, brutalized every day, right under our noses and no one does a thing:

Local anchor: "A spokesman says INDOT says if you think you won't be affected you will be."

TCM voice-over: "Humphrey Bogart hunts two blackbirds, one literal, one metaphorial..."

Local (?) teevee commercial for vanity publishing scam: "The book is packed with ansa-dots..." (anecdotes, presumably, but maybe I'm presuming too much).

Local field reporter: "Police are issuing a discourage to motorists..."

Local weather performer/high school quiz show host: "Sir Thomas MOR-ay..."
(This is just the waterboarding portion, since he also miraculously re-christened the Patron Saint of Lawyers, something like "Werther Thomas" which I didn't quite catch. Remind me to tell you sometime what they accepted as the consequent of a categorical syllogism on the same show.)


Anonymous said...

I adorn you, and don't be issuing me any discourages. You make me whacks metaphorial, on a quophibian basis, and you can't say I can't say it hasn't affected me, can't you?

It's why I keep coming back to casa del perro for moré.


Anonymous said...

Itz beonde th pail!

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who misses Cat Sadler on 59 in the Morning, with the hip huggers and the belly shirts and the too much eye makeup? She decidedly did make the mornings more deciduous.

Anonymous said...

Incidentally, and this is completely none of my business, are you really schizophrenic? I used to have a shrink who would tell me how important it was for my self-esteem to have role models who shared my assorted issues, and it's possible there could be something to that, you know...

James Briggs Stratton "Doghouse" Riley said...

Diagnosed, you mean? I have the same relationship to psychiatry I have to, say, mainstream country music or People magazine. I'm sure there's some purpose they fill, and it's obvious they help some people, and I might even take a look now and then, but on the whole if they vanished tomorrow I'd manage to cope, somehow.

Anonymous said...

There was the TV "news" anchor who, when referring to the Sacagawea dollar coins, called them "Saca-waca-jea" coins. She kept on smiling.

Anonymous said...

Diagnoses are relevant only for disability and prescriptions. If you don't need either, being diagnosed will only annoy you in future dealings with insurance companies and other doctors. Once I got diagnosed with a few things, I had doctors absolutely refusing to treat the headaches because, hey, they're probably just symptomatic of some underlying mental disorder. So, you know, until you can convince some medical doctor to actually do their freaking job, you can just suffer.

This is why my various doctors are aware only of any diagnoses I need medication for, and why everything else stays technically undiagnosed.

Anyway, psychiatry is hardly a science, so it's still good enough for role model status. ;-)