Appleby

"A nice dog," Appleby said.
Still benevolent, Mr. Gee swung round. "Dish-faced," he said in a voice of unfathomable gloom.
"Ah," said Appleby, rather at a loss.
"And undershot," Mr. Gee preserved his highly deceptive appearance. "Pig-jawed, in fact."
"Well, yes--I suppose he is, a little."
"She."
"Ah"
"Cow-hocked. No feather. Apple-headed. Pily."
"Pily? I suppose she is. But still--"
"Pily is the only good thing about her. Apple-headed. No feather. Cow-hocked. Pig-jawed. What do you think of the stifles?"
"I'm afraid," Appleby said modestly, "I don't know anything about dogs."
"I'm afraid you don't," said Mr. Gee gloomily. He continued to radiate the appearance of good cheer..
"At the moment, as a matter of fact, I'm more interested in horses."
"You don't look as if you knew much about them either. Taxis I should say was more your line."

from The Daffodil Affair by Michael Innes, pseudonym of the late John Innes Mackintosh Stewart, creator of Inspector John Appleby, first of the donnish detectives. Hamlet, Revenge! is the first and among the best. The comic spy novel From London Far is an underappreciated gem.