I'm hoping some of you younger readers will help me out here.
A) You are a middle-aged man with plumbing problems. That is, your house has a plumbing problem. Let's call you "Riley".
You are presently returning to Lowe's because the 3/8"/3/8" OD female connection angle valve you purchased, and have the water in your house shut off in anticipation of installing, turned out in fact to be 3/8"/1/2". Pursuant to exchanging the product you are driving in the parking lot at the unlisted but reasonable speed limit of 15 mph when, from behind an unattended van parked in the loading lane there suddenly appears directly in front of you a twenty-something whatever-you-call-Yuppies these days who is dedicating 100% of his attention to the cell phone which gives every appearance of never leaving his ear while he's in public. Questions:
1) Is it proper to just hit him? Or should you follow him as he returns to his SUV, block in it, and urinate on it?
2) Whatever do you call Yuppies these days?
B) You are a member of the grand jury seated to hear the case against the guy who shot whatever MSNBC genius gave Tucker Carlson yet another show. Do you vote:
1) Justifiable homicide?
2) Performing veterinary euthanasia without a license?
3) To put him on a stamp?
Thanks in advance,