My Poor Wife ran to the store for the Sunday paper and the TV Guide™ that as usual wasn't available on Friday. She tossed it on the ottoman in front of me while I was having my morning beverage. I remember seeing the picture of Kelly Ripa in hooker couture, and reading the headline, something like "My Body Is Even Better Since I Had Kids!" Then there was this phosphorus flash and the damned thing spontaneously combusted. Just a sprinkling of white ash was left. The ottoman wasn't even singed.
Oh well, maybe next week.