• Had to drive to the Trans-Global Multi Megamall this afternoon to get color cartridges for my wife's printer, because she made the pouty mouth last night when she told me "I'll go tomorrow after class if you can't." It's ninety-two degrees and there's an ozone alert, and I had to go the long way because the first place I went was out of cyan. How do you run out of one color before the others?
• This is why monogamy is a threat to the environment.
• I don't mind traffic, though. Gives you a chance to listen to other people's music. And read up on their political opinions.
• It's genetic with her. Her whole family is repeatedly shocked to learn you might have made plans to do something more than fifteen minutes in advance. "Shirley's getting married again at 2pm. The usual church. What? You have surgery scheduled? Well, is it elective?"
• One other problem with going the long way is that it passes through what was, as recently as fifteen years ago, nothing but wilderness and abandoned farmland and an excellent location for sodomy al fresco.
• I decided I had earned the right to at least consider buying a new CD, so I stopped in Best Buy #229. I'd been there about twenty seconds, had picked up the new John Hiatt and was reading the back cover when a kid walked up and asked if I needed any help. I considered:
a) "Yes, I was wondering what these song titles would sound like if someone your age read them in a fake British accent."
b) "I noticed you stock these things in alphabetical order. Is that all of them, or just the aitches? Do spaces count? Is there a numerical section, or do I have to spell the numbers out? And what's that letter with, like, the straight line and the two feet going off at an angle?"
c) "Where are your .78s?" (Alternately: "What the fuck, am I too old to be in the fuckin' CD section unassisted, dickweed?")
• Via Kathy via Fussy comes
Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing which is probably the funniest thing I've read on the internets since Henry Raddick's Amazon reviews. I'm only about one quarter through so far, because I keep spitting insert choice of beverage on my insert choice of peripheral.
• There. I finally wrote a sentence with as many links as Michelle Malkin averages.