Tuesday, June 12

Fun With Monogamy Vol. DCXXVI: The "Fug" Edition

Sunday Morning:

PW (amative): Honey, remember when we used to "fug" out on the deck in summer?
Me: No.

Sunday Afternoon:

Coming home from the Mall (new refrigerator, Kenmore, French doors, stainless) on another unannounced Drive Like A Moron Day, we get in the middle left turn lane behind a guy who then decides it's time to stop as soon as he's through the light and wait for traffic (considerable) to clear so he can get in the right-hand lane.

Me: God-truster (new shorthand for bad driving based on Indiana's "In God We Trust" plate).
PW: Hoosier.
Me: Naw, they were from out of state.

We pull alongside at the next light.

PW: Missouri. (Mock rolling down window) "Fug" Harry Truman!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

PW (amative): Honey, remember when we used to "fug" out on the deck in summer?
Me: No.


Sounds to me like a request for a demonstration. Hope it worked!

Stephen Green said...

I thought it was understood that Sunday is the universal "drive like a moron" day.

Anonymous said...

Down here in Savannah EVERY day is "drive like a moron day."

Anonymous said...

how come is it ALWAYS unannounced?
The "drive like a moron" I can handle (leave the mototcycle in the shed").
It's is the unexpected eruption of moronism that is disconcerting (deadly).

Morgan P. said...

HA! We moved to Missouri (St. Louis) from Chicago 1.5 years ago, and I can tell you that Missouri drivers are ASSUREDLY the most God-awful I've ever seen. Every day here is Drive Like A Moron day, believe me. For instance, in St. Louis, red stoplights are considered optional. You see people pull up to a red light, stop for long enough to see that there's no oncoming traffic, and then drive through the red light like there's nothing wrong with that. I'm totally serious. Oh, and they're being considerate if they stop to make sure no one's coming. I once started to drive through a green light only to almost get plowed into by some a*hole running the red. He was, needless to say, unapologetic.

(Also, true story, the word "hoosier" down here is used to mean "hick". As in, "Springfield, MO is just full of hoosiers and trailer parks." I am NOT trying to insult Indiana! I love Indiana now that I know you live there, Doghouse! I'm just the messenger! But, I thought you might be interested if you didn't already know.)

Morgan P. said...

Additional note, from Urban Dictionary (I know, not the most trustworthy source):

"

St. Louis Meaning: white trash of the worst kind. Also used as an adjective to describe anything several notches below your own perceived sophistication. Dates back to a strike that occurred in St. Louis in the 30's. During this strike, scab workers from Indiana were brought in to fill in for strikers. The perjorative hoosier stems from the St. Louis workers' lack of appreciation for this."