Friday, February 8

Praising With Damned Feints

IT'S R. Porrofatto Appreciation Day! Wait, that's the old Riley. It's a Classic R. Porrofatto Weekend!!!! From Roy's:
Her WSJ piece is loaded with the usual garbage, but the one item that struck me was Noonan's bizarre claim that Obama is "bulletproof" because "his race will freeze" the usual Party Who Invented the Southern Strategy hit squads, and only the "freelance mental cases" will go after him. Some folks mistakenly thought a decorated war veteran was bulletproof, but it didn't stop even the sainted Noonan from ridiculing Kerry's heroic Vietnam record: "Scratched my arm, got my ticket punched, and got out of Dodge!" I'll take one of those YouTube "freelance mental cases" over a blackhearted operative any day.

Also, the more Noonan and other Gooper politicos praise Obama while denigrating Clinton's candidacy and her chances of winning the general election, the more obvious it is which candidate they'd prefer running against.

Oh, here's Peg:
With Mr. Obama the campaign will be about issues. "He'll raise your taxes." He will, and I suspect Americans may vote for him anyway. But the race won't go low.
Mrs. Clinton would be easier for Republicans. With her cavalcade of scandals, they'd be delighted to go at her. They'd get medals for it. Consultants would get rich on it.
The Democrats have it exactly wrong. Hillary is the easier candidate, Mr. Obama the tougher. Hillary brings negative; it's fair to hit her back with negative. Mr. Obama brings hope, and speaks of a better way. He's not Bambi, he's bulletproof.
The biggest problem for the Republicans will be that no matter what they say that is not issue oriented--"He's too young, he's never run anything, he's not fully baked"--the mainstream media will tag them as dealing in racial overtones, or undertones. You can bet on this. Go to the bank on it.
And how come there's no White History Month?

I've had DSL trouble since yesterday, but there was a short break in the clouds late enough last night that I got to read Nooners before falling asleep . And the reason I went straight to Peggy is my curiosity at how The Right is going to begin dealing with a possible Obama candidacy now that attacking Democrats is the only sport they'll have until flies start hatching.

Psychic! How'd I know Peggy would be discussing Democrats and not the Most-Worst to Even-More-Most-Worser turn in her own party's fortunes? Psychic! Plus, I'm a homeowner in Zone 5. This is the time of year the flying pests begin taking a tentative jab or two at the indoor environment. It's a few weeks yet, depending on the climate, before the creepy crawly invertebrates come out in force.

There is no such thing as an old whore lacking survival skills. And let me say right now that I don't mean Ms Noonan personally by that remark. Since she practices Roman Catholicism at such a volume, I assume she does her best to follow the Church's instruction, and I'm innocent enough of Catholic theology, having been raised a Protestant, that it's unclear to me whether a woman who regularly cavorts with small groups of sailors or stevedores she's met as recently as forty-five seconds ago, while semi-comatose, has, in fact, violated those tenets, especially if she doesn't charge anyone. Not, of course, that I'm suggesting I have proof of this.

No, I mean, metaphorically, the Mighty Right Wing Blather Machine, whose professionalism and fellatio technique are about to be more sorely tested than they have even through the darkest days of the Bush administration, all 2500 or so of them. As usual they've had considerable difficulties on their own side. (You younger kids might be interested in learning that even as the front-runner in 1980 Reagan wasn't quite a shoo-in until he demonstrated his electability by purchasing a microphone. He had to put Wimpublican George Herbert Walker Bush on the ticket to appease what were laughingly referred to as the party's moderates. Reagan was followed by Bush, twice, who couldn't even attack Saddam Hussein successfully and satisfy the wingnuts, and Senator Bob Dole (R-ADM), who was insufficiently hypocritical. Consider that the only "perfect" candidate these people have nominated since everyone Liked Ike is our current President-in-Abstentia, and there're still some hard feelings because he used the term "compassion", even if wholly disingenuously.)

It's small wonder, really, since there's no Republican agenda at all, beyond tax cuts and distracting voters with tiny American flags while someone helps themselves to the contents of their pockets. This is amply demonstrated by the fact that the "real conservative" choice in the current campaign was a guy so utterly lacking in ideas that those rare occasions when anyone bothered to make fun of his local anchorman hairdo or his religious underwear the humor fell flat because these things seemed like his only qualifications for the job. It was like someone going on stage on Open Mike night and leading off with, "Wow--Governor Schwarzenegger. He's got some muscles, huh?"

But on the attack they're a different story. Once it became clear that Senator Obama had a real shot at the nomination, the praise became a river of treacle. It's interesting to watch it slide, every so slowly, into attempts to erode the banks. Cal Thomas called him a "socialist" this week, which might be taken by the rational but unfamiliar-with-the-territory observer as a silly attack, but is, in reality, just a flickering alcohol lamp held beneath the beaker for a brief moment. "Socialist", like "environmental extremist" is just a synonym for "Democrat" in that bailiwick. They know exactly where the frog is, how much water's in that beaker, and how hot they can get it.

These guys know that the Democrats can't really afford to get nasty--Clinton needs those Obama voters who are actually old enough not to have anything better to do on election day, and Obama needs to begin making inroads into actual Democratic constituencies on or near terra firma. A long campaign means that the Pugs will have to slowly leak out their attacks instead of being able to take aim at the nominee. Maybe "leech out" is better there.

So we won't bother mentioning to the Peggster that the presumptive nominee of her own party was himself the victim of racists attacks in the last contested primary, the notable fact that he's as white as the Mormon hierarchy having proven no defense at all.  That we're unlikely to see Candidate Obama opposed by some species of Willie Horton ad on a national level is hardly the same thing as saying he'll be left untouched; let's call up Harold Ford and see what he thinks. As for Hillary, it is to laugh. Ha ha ha. You've shoveled all the shit already, not that it won't be more "acceptable" to try in her case. But remember: Chris Matthews was forced to apologize, or "apologize" on the fucking air for what he said about her. Name another candidate that's true of.


aimai said...

I'm reeling with wonder from this screed.


Harry Cheddar said...

But, but, but, when Obama gets nominated, it will be a world of sunshine and rainbows, the children will dance, and then everyone in DC will join hands and sing motherfuckin' Kumbaya . . .

KathyR said...

Doghouse, next time I see you, I'll give you 50 bucks for that title.

R. Porrofatto said...

There is no such thing as an old whore lacking survival skills.

Whether this line is original to you or not, applying it to Noonan is sheer genius. I don't want to turn this into the Joey Bishop show of suckuppery ("I just wanna say that THIS MAN, ladies & gentlemen, and you may not know this about him, but this man right here is a mensch!"), but there are always one or more such brilliant gems in your posts of simply excellent writing, and true wit. You really should have a much larger gig.