Wednesday, July 20

Back Home Again

CONNERSVILLE, IN:
A reserve police officer has been accused of having sex at the Roberts Park Family Pool in Connersville.

Sunday, about 25-people looked, and then looked again, hardly able to believe what they were seeing.

"I've seen a lot of things, but this was a little bit more than what we would ever expect," eyewitness Brian Davison said.

What they were seeing, according to police, was a 39-year-old man and a 40-year-old woman having sex right there in the pool.

And instead of being happy for them, everyone was left in doubt.
"We've tried to make this a family place and it's not a family place when you're coming, doing lewd acts like that," Connersville Sports and Activies Director Daryl Drew said.

Children ruin everything.

Honestly, the great thing about this story is the quick thinking emergency response of your local officials:
"We cleared the pool, put new chemicals in, recycled the whole water," Drew said.

Really? It's a public swimming pool. A cloud of love juice would have been, what? the fourth-worst contaminant, on a good day?

10 comments:

R. Porrofatto said...

Amidst the current austerity, it's impressive that Connersville, Indiana can afford a Sports and Activies Director. Props to Officer Myron Helms, who goes by the name "Lenny," and Victoria Cross, who goes by the name "Victoria Cross," for entertaining 25 people for 30 minutes before anyone suggested they stop.

ckc (not kc) said...

...would it be considered a sport, or an activity? ...maybe Daryl was disappointed that he wasn't able to contribute any direction.

Anonymous said...

This is similar to how someone was noticed taking a leak into a reservoir serving Portland, OR and they went and drained the WHOLE THING.

I mean, this was pre-treatment water too...

Otto Pärt said...

Fourth worst? Please don't tell me number three.

Anonymous said...

Since menopause, I have totally avoided thinking about No.3.Thanks for bringing up bad memories, Mr Riley and Otto.
Suez

James Stripes said...

The only thing missing from this story is the link to YouTube.

prairie curmudgeon said...

Just some of that phylogeny recapitulating ontogeny or is it the other way around?. Thank the amphibians for that. The prince just wanted to become a frog. Prolly beats the guy getting his whacker stuck in one of the suction intakes.

KWillow said...

I'm the same age as Doghouse, but... thinking back... my recollection is that sex under water, like sex in the sand, isn't really much fun. Sex in the water with dozens of people gaping... ew.

Julia Grey said...

This is similar to how someone was noticed taking a leak into a reservoir serving Portland, OR and they went and drained the WHOLE THING.

I mean, this was pre-treatment water too...

For pity's sake. Aside from the fact that fresh urine, absent a urinary tract infection, is STERILE in the first place (the kidneys filter out bacteria), the dilution factor alone should reassure any sane observer.

my recollection is that sex under water . . . isn't really much fun.

You are correct. What a disappointment.

Buttermilk Sky said...

I'm reminded of the era when pools had to be drained if a non-white person took a dip. Chlorinated water-wise, we're post-racial but not quite grown up.