Friday, November 18

How 'Bout Protecting The Public From Him?

Phillip Elliott,"Cain receives Secret Service protection". November 17

Susan Saulny, "Cain Says 'We Need a Leader, Not a Reader' ". November 17

LOOK, it's too late to excuse Herman Cain as a mutant amphibian harbinger of political ecosystem disaster. That was Richard Nixon. After him, if the system couldn't defend itself from Ronald Reagan, or Newt Gingrich, Dick Cheney, Phil Gramm, Dick Armey, Alan Simpson, or Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, James Dobson and Tim LaHaye, well, we were just left to hope that future Americans would get really cool laser eyes or convertible carapaces, or something out of the deal.

Do we really need a second-rate Sarah Palin? Do we even really need to contemplate the theoretical possibility of such a thing? Herman Cain is a joke. If Herman Cain has to be on the evening news, the lead-in should be Brian Williams announcing "Tonight, Herman Cain is still a joke." We are not having anything that approaches an adult conversation because of Herman Cain. And it's not like people who want to follow the tabloid exploits of halfwits, nitwits, and exhibitionists are lacking in opportunities.

It's just time, right here and right now, to recognize the Nixonian war on "the Media" for what it always was, and for the reeking, empty hazardous waste site that's left of it: an excuse to give free passes to idiots and hallucinators, a requirement that our official narrative take them as seriously as it does the sane and rational and articulate. I'm still a proud disciple of R.D. Laing but, y'know, some people need to be institutionalized. And our compassion and understanding, and the difficult work and times of dealing with a broad range of microcephalics, religious maniacs, and sexual psychopaths ought to be husbanded for the poor and the scorned, not rich fucking figureheads who could use a good slapping.

Does every last one of these sorry-ass media clowns deserve fifteen minutes? Must the amount of time devoted to a thing be determined by how many total fucking morans you can get to buy one?

The man is not qualified to be President of the United States. Don't tell us that the only proper function of the Free Press in that circumstance is to give him enough mic cord to hang himself with. The Press ignores hundreds of unqualified candidates every election cycle. Somebody somewhere in every newsroom has the authority to say, "The Republicans can allow anyone they want into their promotional events. We're not covering idiots".

"A Leader, not a Reader" by the way. Which makes him half-qualified. Which one of his brilliant minions came up with that one? Cain can't lead a campaign. I'll believe he could lead a high school Homecoming parade down a single, one-way city block when I actually see it. The National Federation of CEOs should have bought him off six months ago, before he gave the game away. Herman Cain couldn't lead a pizza shop. Given an unassailable position by a multi-mega conglomerate, Cain "solved" the "problem" of Godfather's "Pizza" stores which didn't make enough profit to justify the time corporate honchos were forced to spend looking at their spreadsheets--interrupting valuable sexual harassment time--by excising everything that didn't fit. This is a "solution" only if your problem is "we can't find anybody willing to cut stuff". That's not entrepreneurship. It's fourth-grade math. If Herman Cain had been CEO of Herman Cain's Pizza & Pork Logs on Main, and it wasn't making the profit it was supposed to, would he have closed it and declared himself a success? Are we pleophorically certain that every one of those, you should pardon the expression, units he closed would never have become successful with the right direction? I guess the only time we believe that success can be snatched away from certain failure is when some executive gets the credit.

By the way, what does the Herman Cain Presidency say about the National Restaurant Association? I mean, what does it say that we hadn't already learned from Taco Bell?

One more thing: show of hands, who believes the Death Threat stories? Okay, of those, who believes the Cain campaign engineered them? The only people who might want to kill Herman Cain are Republicans embarrassed by total shit-for-brains Presidential candidates, and if there are any of those how'd they survive intact the last thirty years? The Cain campaign is what crawled out from under the GOP rock when the election of Barack Obama kicked it over. They need anything to take the focus off their man, and they're willing to do it, despite the fact that there's no hope in hell their man will be elected President. They knew that Homeland Security wouldn't dare refuse. A gaffe highlight reel is not the same thing as reporting.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Does every last one of these sorry-ass media clowns deserve fifteen minutes?

If you're the corporate press, of course they do!

What's their alternative, admitting that the same plutocrats who sign their paychecks also own the Democratic and Republican parties?

I think Dan Froomkin tried that, he got exiled to the HuffPo.

And of course and furthermore, those smelly hippies of OWS are now associated with violence (violence done to them, but propaganda is propaganda...and it works).

/the NYT and FOX News

prairie curmudgeon said...

Shit sells.

So, if the consensus is that this GOP field really sucks, why the hell ain't the GOP getting up on their horses and drafting some un jokes into this campaign? Cause the media wise men are still telling everyone it is too late? Too fucking late for what? Too late to get in on the fucking joke of a GOP campaign? Exceptional.

Flounders said...

It's a hard world, bro, where you have to take a few paragraphs to discredit this asshole and the fact that everyone else is having to take time to discredit him. Riley discrediting Cain sort of says that Riley took Cain seriously, even though he didn't.

It's tough to have to point out that the man shouldn't be taken notice of, without taking notice of him.These clowns sort of deal you a bad deal.

The good part is that the man has no chance, yet it's conceivable that he might be nominated. And the other guy who might be nominated is sitting on the whoopee cushion of Mormonism. And either one of them, if he is nominated, has to go up against Mr. Smoove in the general election.

It's Morning in America, Riley. Cheer up. This whole clusterfuck is a turn for the better. To me this election looks like the best one since I was forced to vote for Hubert Humphrey in the hope of beating Nixon. The Hump would have beat these clowns with one hand tied behind his liberalism.

Buck up, kid.

Anonymous said...

The Republicans are using Cain in this race the same way they used Alan Keyes in the Illinois US Senator race that Obama won-- running a lawn jockey in hopes that the electorate will think there are two lawn jockeys running.

Come to think of it, they also put Michael Steele in charge of their party. I guess that tells us what de massa looks for in his black folk....

Time Served said...

The Republican Party intention in nominating one of their current wingnut candidates is to reprise the GW Bush administration. They will nominate Cain or Gingrich or Perry then try to reassure us that the VP will be the "adult" who will moderate the President's nuttier tendencies. It worked on the public when they nominated GW and installed Cheney as the "adult" in the room.