"Hello, you're being spoken to by First Mother and former First Lady Barbara Bush, on behalf of Federal disaster emergency relief. Everyone I meet tells me things are going swimmingly. I hope what I've always heard about some minorities not being able to swim are unfounded, although you never see them in the Olympics, do you? Except running, I mean. Well, good luck, mind your betters, and shut that damn thing off and bring me another Scotch mist. And not so much ice this time."