Monday, September 12

There's Never Enough Shit In The Water For Indiana Republicans

Let's leave aside Indiana 8th District Congressman John "Divorce Is Nearly As Evil As Gay Marriage" Hostettler and his vote against the Hurricane Katrina aid legislation. That was a vote on principle. Congressman Hostettler is one of the last real Christian men of principle left in politics, which is why he believes that we ought to make quid pro quo budget cuts before we send aid to Americans who are still able to tread water. Hostettler did not raise similar objections to aiding hurricane victims last year, but that was in Florida in an election year, and if you don't understand the distinction you must be one of those Democrats who can't help themselves when it comes to denigrating and demonizing Christians he mentioned on the House floor before he took it back. Besides, Representative Hostettler's principles will be coming into play again next year when, as he was a freshman signator of the Contract With America, he retires in order to preserve our citizen legislature. I don't hear many of you holding your breath out there.

No, instead let's turn our attention to Governor Mitch "Tiny" Daniels. The Indianapolis Star found him pining away this 9/11 for our lost unity:
"The days after that were really the most memorable, I suppose, of my life, because for a short time the nation came together in a way, and its politicians came together in a way, that they just aren't famous for," Daniels said this past week.

Yeah, it was a great time to be alive. Assuming you still were.
"I think it's sad and regrettable that our political class behaves in this way," Daniels said. "The charges, particularly those directed at the federal government, are so obviously bogus. By the time federal assistance is even legal, requested and legal, the death and destruction essentially has occurred.

Class, please take your highlighters and mark the factual errors in the above paragraph. Raise your hand when you reach eight.
"Sure, things could always have been done better, but I just wish people would drop their political hammers for a few weeks, as happened in 2001, and work on the problem at hand."

The whole class found all eight? I'm impressed. Record time, too. Now, would anyone like to hazard a guess as to why Governor Daniels is disappointed at politicians who do their jobs by criticizing the greatest governmental cock-up since Winston Churchill gave up planning military operations, but has nothing whatever to say about politicians in his own party criticizing innocent victims? Please, don't all speak at once.

5 comments:

eRobin said...

Now, would anyone like to hazard a guess as to why Governor Daniels is disappointed at politicians who do their jobs by criticizing the greatest governmental cock-up since Winston Churchill gave up planning military operations, but has nothing whatever to say about politicians in his own party criticizing innocent victims?

All's I know is that Republicans keep me safer but not safe. And is this gonna be on the test?

Woodrowfan said...

(raises hand) teacher, my marker ran out of yellow stuff before I could finish.

julia said...

Hey, I remember Mitch coming together after 9/11 and trying to cut off our reconstruction funds because they were going to New York.

Mitch, unfortunately, is unlikely to go fuck himself more fervently than usual just because I say so.

heydave said...

Oh, oh! Since this is a science quiz also, if we talk Mitch into fucking himself, do we get extra credit?

harry near indy said...

because if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all?

sounds like the typical middle-class hoosier response to unpleasantness.

so -- should we take daniels' silence about hostettler as disapproval?

i await your answers, but i won't be holding my breath.