Wednesday, December 20

Life Lessons

First, Hoosiers have always looked upon Kentucky the way the rest of the nation looks at us, i.e., as the mildly Learning-Disabled cousin you try to include in everything so long as nothing important gets broken. And second, it's no secret that our recurring theme here is that we've got practically everything bass-ackwards in this country and there's no improving things until we recognize and try to correct that. So Tara Connor is a perfect object lesson:

A) Who Are We Kidding?

1. Popularity of hot girl/girl action: Large

2. Popularity of leaky drunks: Very small

B) Where Is Our Perspective?

1. Number of recent articles extolling the "role model" status of contestant in a Paleolithic peep show who most successfully parades her surgically reconstructed body in front of a television audience basically consisting of the Powerline boys: Large

2. Number of House bills demanding impeachment of George W. Bush because his daughters are as far from role models as pageants are from civilized behavior: Very small.

C) Extenuating circumstances:

1. Tara Connor: small town girl, Big City

2. Bush Twins: small minds, Big Money

D) Number of additional Chances:

Tara Connor: one

Bush Twins: unlimited

1 comment:

Norbizness said...

She's cool, but she'll never get name-dropped in a Digital Underground song like Vanessa Williams.