Friday, April 27

Dear Mr. Norbizness,

IT'S the Moon. It's the Planets. It's the Weather. It's six-and-a-half fucking years of the Bush administration, at once the crookedest, most ignorant, and least incompetent ever. It's the fact that not only does such an administration still garner the support of 30% of our fellow citizens but that such support includes sending women and men off to die, first for cynical reasons, now for no reason. It's the wondering if the other 70% of the country deserves that, or what percentage does. It's wondering what portion of that number doesn't give a shit provided they drive a Beemer or have a shot at winning American Idol, or their favorite contestant has a shot at winning American Idol. It's that part of the culture that lies as the only way it knows to take in oxygen.

You, sir, are brilliant, funny, insightful. You have no business being all those things. I turn to you before the tea has finished steeping every morning. I wish that were enough. I wish I could remember how many women I'd said that to over the years.

Look, comments, schmomments. Kevin Drum gets 200 every time he sneezes, and I'll bet he'd trade it all just to be able to tap dance like you. And your commenters are invariably bright, funny, and witty, present company excepted. If I owned a network you'd be producing the news. Okay, cable network.

So my advice is, "Fuck it, I'm not qualified to give you advice." Follow the Muse. Read Chuang-tse:

Starlight asked Non-Entity, "Master, do you exist? Or do you not exist?" He got no answer to his question, however.

We'll wait, dude. Feel free to stop by Indianapolis, where both the booze and the In God We Trust license plates are free, the women are well-rounded, and a weekend's worth of discussing troublesome bare patches under shallow-rooted trees will show you what's important.


Anonymous said...

I... um, oh. I guess this makes me a total asshole, but I never commented over there anymore because I was completely outclassed. Mostly what I had to say over there was "Totally, dude, right on" and after a while I concluded that kind of non-value-added sucking up was annoying everybody.

Norbizness, man, look. There's a difference between gruff self-deprecation and growling at people until they get the impression you want them to go away, you know? My fault for not spotting it, then. It's an insecurity/lack of medication thing, I guess. Sorry about that.

And, yeah, I know that this is probably going to get me squashed, too, on the grounds that I'm an absolute moron for saying it. I should probably just apologize for that right now, and slink away quietly. But, what Doghouse said.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Jeez, Norb.

Okay, it's my fault. I didn't comment when I should; especially those damn photo caption things. I always loved the Dysfunctional Famiily Circus captioning; I could have at least thrown a couple of Uncle Roys or Psychic Ferns in there to confuse everybody.

Dude, you need a break, you deserve it. But boy, know that I started blogging because of you. But the difference is on a good day, I still get less comments than you do at your worst; because I , you know, suck.

So you know, see you around the intertubes, and come back if you feel the urge. Or just say hi on the various snark filled sites when you feel the need. You were the only one out there with a weirder Random Music Ten than mine.

I'll probably end up putting something on my blog; but there'll probably be more readers here.

Anonymous said...

You spelled 'least competent' wrong, Doghouse.

As to the point of the post, I agree completely. I've added a number of comments to the captions and movie entries, but in general my happy furry puppy snarkiness is not worthy.

There are so very few blogs where the authors and commenters are like this; please don't go the way of ParrotLine.

Anonymous said...

I never commented over there anymore because I was completely outclassed.

I commented occasionally, and I was always outclassed. Totally. But I read it just about every day, dammit.

Some of us are just not funny enough to comment, but damn, that doesn't mean we don't love Norbizness. (and Doghouse--again, I never delurk here, but that doesn't mean I don't read and appreciate it.)

Take a break, but damn it, come back soon. I promise to make less-than-witty comments, since that's all I can muster.

Anonymous said...

um, I think norbizness' site completely disproves the theory -- if it even exists -- that comments=good shit.

clearly not the case. this is the fifth of about 30 blogs that I read every day -- and it's fifth because I can only read so much without DESSERT

in vino veritas

and if I was half as funny as this fucker, I'd be writing instead of reading...

Anonymous said...

Well, I hope he comes back.
I know that every time I see an article or post that refers to “the left”, I automatically see: The Left™

Anonymous said...

I never considered myself "outclassed" over there because he was too charming a host. I am flattered that I made his blogroll for awhile, and that he commented on my blog once or twice. I am richer for having interacted with him, and I look forward to doing so again in some meaningful and creative way. He is the best.


Anonymous said...

I voted for Bush, AND I'm proud of it.

Tlachtga said...

Is that why you're anonymous, because you're so proud?

Anonymous said...

I voted for Bush, AND I'm proud of it.

Well sure, who wouldn't be proud to be a total asshole?

Anonymous said...

Meh, comments. Who needs a bunch of wankers dropping by just to yell "Frist!"

I dunno how people manage to blogpost every day, given it's been six weeks since I last did so myself. I don't see any problem with a hiatus if Norb's finding the daily grind tiresome and unfulfilling. RSS will tell me when he's back.

Take it easy, Mr 'Izness.

punkinsmom said...

troublesome bare patches under shallow-rooted trees

I hate that.

Anonymous said...

Norby left because he couldn't handle being called an Insufferable Music Snob all the time.

The truth hurts.

Come back. And like Riley, I read you first thing, then Riley.

Sheesh, be like Ye Olde Rude Pundit and not give a shit about what we have to say.

Anonymous said...

Hear, hear, Doghouse! Norb is one of the funniest writers out there. Where will I get my regular doses of whimsy if he doesn't come back?

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