I have an enormous head. It's huge. Freakishly, genetic-mutation, upper-limits-of-the-birth-canal huge. I stand right at six feet, (or did in the days when I was measured; I'm sure the Bush administration has cost me a half-inch at least), yet depending on the manufacturer my hat size is 7 5/8 or 7 7/8. That's an important distinction, chapeau-wise, as 7 5/8 is about the upper limit of "extra large" in the millinery world, while 7 7/8 will put you in the "Special Order" category, or the "Hats to Cover Extensive Bandaging" category, with a corresponding loss of selection. Every adjustable hat I own is set at the very last little peg, and sometimes even that doesn't work.
I love the fedora. I have three, though I'm never dressed up enough to wear one. I don't wear a porkpie quite as well, but I get more use out of them since they work in more casual settings. I've got a dark gray felt Dizzy Gillespie number, and a straw Slammin' Sammy Sneed special, only it's black and the band is a tasteful cream, black, and brown, not one of those technicolor assaults. Of course the real problem with wearing hats out in public these days is that once you get there there's no place to put them. Sic transit.
Decent hats--and what's more important, decent hat wearing--can make even a boring Turner Classic Movie a must-watch. A couple months ago there was a Ray Milland movie on, no idea what it was, but man, he looked like you'd cut yourself on his clothes if you brushed up against him. Hats are like tuxedos. Some people wear them, but for most people it's the other way around.
What brought this on is my wife was able to get me a team cap from her high school baseball nine, and...it's fitted, not adjustable, and they had one in my size! So I was breaking it in, you know, getting the roll just right, and it occurred to me that the roll is perhaps the single greatest fashion innovation ever, and if you're reading this you know I'm no slave to fashion. When I was a kid you crowned your cap (and called it a "hat"), meaning you creased the top above the logo so it stood up. Some guys tucked baseball cards in theirs to stiffen 'em. And when I look at those old pictures today it reminds me that "dorky" had not yet entered the lingo.
And two-toned shoes.. Oh, baby! And yes, ladies, I've got big feet, too.