Friday, May 13
In response to my suggestion at Corndoggerel that the new ruling junta at PBS would have a hard time making their public affairs programming--which currently consists of a shout fest moderated by Nixon's favorite Jesuit, a weekly half-hour of cowering featuring "The Press", and a bow-tied dick--any worse, the Phantom Scribbler reminded me of Buster, the lesbian friendly rabbit. I rashly predicted that Buster would soon be befriending oil-drilling voles and land-developing beavers. Rashly, because this is the sort of thing I should be selling to the New Public Broadcasting System. I got a couple of scripts ready yesterday, and I have a few more ideas I'll sketch out here:
Mean ol' Mr. Peecee demands the city enforce its leash laws on Clifford, the Big Red Dog. But when Clifford puts out a fire at Mr. Peecee's house he learns we shouldn't rely on Big Government to solve our problems, and besides, the giants among us know best.
In one of those crossover two-parters so beloved of network programmers, Thomas the Tank Engine is sad because he can't visit Yellowstone Park, so Bob the Builder lays some track though the middle of it for him.
Reparative therapy cures Tinky Winky's bad case of gay. Dr. Robert Spitzer guest stars.
Sesame St.: Letter: M; Numbers: 3,4; Concepts: firing warning shots at illegal immigrants.
Arthur's liberal, feminist, trade-unionist teacher makes him memorize unpleasant facts about American history. Arthur tells the police she's a Satanist child molester.
The American Experience is now The Judeo-Christian American Experience, Nova will be replaced by Science with John Stossel and Frontline will be in reruns while its replacement, The Ann Coulter Comedy Hour is readied.
You know where to find me, Mr. Ferree.