Monday, August 15

The Good News From Iraq

10) Contrary to pre-war fears, our troops were not slowed down by throngs of cheering Iraqis or buried under tons of proffered bouquets.

9) Just as we proved in WWII with the Sherman tank, the American fighting man does not need armor to win battles.

8) Whatever the dosage, no amount of hard reality can shake the faith of one-third of our populace.

7) Similarly, our cadres of Television Experts can withstand a direct hit on their credibility without having the wind knocked out of them.

6) No matter how much complicity, co-operation, and cheerleading the mass market media engages in, blaming them when things go south is still a viable option.

5) Similarly, now that it's generally understood that administration and Pentagon officials are lying through their teeth it is no longer necessary to declare previous statements "inoperative".

4) Calling Saddam Hussein "Sodom", once explained by George Herbert Walker Aloyisus Bush I as necessary to distinguish him from King Hussein of Jordan, has proven more popular than Vanilla Coke™.

3) Next time, General Ripper promises he will personally oversee collection of digital cameras and picture phones.

2) Turns out they're used to going without electricity.

1) The shining example of Iraqi democracy will serve as a Beacon of Freedom for the rest of the region. Or else.

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