YES, what boy, girl, or combination of the two wouldn't be thrilled to learn that I personally wasted an entire weekend designing crappy crap the pronoun of your choice can purchase from my new CafePress store? Just in time for the Holidays, only something like seven years late! Offering quality cotton shirts, in the two most popular sleeve lengths, short and long, featuring, respectively, the graphically-challenged "bats left throws right" logo, and the typographically-inept "bats left throws right" logo, plus your choice of motto: "all the shit that sticks™" or "English. It makes a poor cudgel" provided, that is, that you choose the one that has that on it. Proudly proclaim your Philistinism with the Rothko Paint-by-Numbers Large Capacity Mug (Caution: you may never get to drink out of it, because you'll always be spit-taking! It's that funny!). Laugh and learn about the principles of both physics and geometry with the Rectangular "Aphorisms suck" Magnet. I know I plan to stick several on the refrigerator that comes out of my next home, and I hope you will too. Finally, show the world you're not afraid to tempt a Yuletide's worth of mean-spirited wingnuts to run into your car with the "Phyllis Schlafly's the Mother of Modern Conservatism? No wonder the baby's so ugly." bumper sticker. It's something I said on a funnier blog than this one, and I'd like to make a buck or two off of it before Phyllis kicks off. So have a look, won't you? That's http://www.cafepress.com/doghouseblog. You'll want to be the only one on your block who does, guaranteed.
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