Thursday, November 20

Ye Gods

Lisa: Doesn't the Bible teach us, "Judge not, lest ye be judged, And when you pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men," Reverend Mr. Attorney General?

Lovejoy Steve Carter: [sullen] I think it may be somewhere towards the back.

"Blue State" News, courtesy The Indianapolis (1) Racist Star (2):

‘BE GODS’ plate is OK, BMV says

By Jon Murray

The Indiana Bureau of Motor Vehicles commissioner today backed off its denial of a woman’s request for a personalized license plate reading “BE GODS.”
The decision resulted from a lawsuit filed this week by Liz Ferris, who had that same plate on her car for eight or nine years but forgot to renew it on time for 2008. When she submitted a new personalized plate application, the BMV denied her request because of a recent policy change banning any references to religion or a deity on new personalized plates.

Mind you, now, this is the state where you are offered, when you renew your plates, the "In God We Trust" plate, the only state-sanctioned special-interest plate that doesn't cost you any extra money. This past Monday the Indiana Court of Religious Appeals and Marsupial Boxing Commission upheld the no-fee provision, on the same grounds it had earlier used to uphold the Constitutionality of using tax dollars to promote monotheism: that behaving otherwise would impinge on the First Amendment rights of people who are trying to violate the First Amendment.
But while it was proposed last year, that policy didn't take legal effect until this month. Commissioner Ron Stiver said in a statement released today that the BMV would give Ferris a new plate bearing her old message — which she intended to mean “Be God’s” or “belong to God.”

See, this is why I remain incessantly sunny in the face of all evidence to the contrary. God, or Her Facsimile, can control the BMV, but the Devil still owns the grammar texts (and Apostrophe is his most accommodating handmaiden, it goes without saying). Today Ms Ferris is happily motoring around, cutting off faster-moving vehicles in the passing lane, sleeping through changing stoplights, chattering on her cellphone, and neatly straddling two parking spaces at a time, if not four (here we are extrapolating from the behavior of the typical God Trusting motorist; supposing Ms Ferris to be, in fact, a safe, courteous, and considerate driver we offer both our apologies and our utter disbelief) while simultaneously, unknowingly, and with the calm confidence of the Christian holding four aces, actually urging people to practice paganism or drink peyote or something. You'd think it might have occurred to her that "Be Gods" sounds more like something the Serpent said in the Garden than what Ann Landers used to tell her readers.

Now, in case you're wondering why the BMV has dragged its feet on your request for that 8THST or 4NIK8R vanity plate, The Commish has your answer:
“Simply stated, if the BMV approves such pro-deity plates as ‘GOD CAN,’ the agency has no grounds to reject such plates as ‘GOD CANT,’ ‘GODLESS,’ or other more extreme anti-deity plates that have been requested and that most Hoosiers would find offensive,” Stiver said.

Store ends inverted-flag Obama protest

Owner relents after objections from employees

Associated Press

DECATUR, Ind. -- A tire store owner has removed the American flag he flew upside down in protest of Barack Obama's election as president after complaints from his employees.
Greg Townsend said he had planned to keep the flag outside his business inverted until Obama left office but took it down Friday morning.
"My employees were all upset with me, and I can't replace my crew right now, I'm going on vacation," he said. "About six applicants came in and said they'd go to work for me, but it's pretty difficult to replace a crew when you're leaving on vacation."

I suppose that some of you have the impression that I'm posting this item to illustrate some point about the Proudly Uninformed and their impending battle with The Junior Antichrist from Illinois; maybe you think I was gonna say "So much for the argument that they don't fly the flag as a political statement", or that I'm about to suggest that the better course of action for offended employees would have been to egg the guy on, into putting Little Black Sambo prints on the walls or in the front window and playing Amos and Andy tapes all day instead of that Cassic Rock station. Maybe you suspect I'm about to make an impassioned defense of the First Amendment, even, perhaps especially, when it comes to brain-dead morons.

But no. I'm just a real fan of the Small Business Entrepreneur Whose Vacation Comes First genre, dating back to when that was used as an excuse in small claims court by a former landlord who'd seized our damage deposit. She lost, by the way, but probably not as much as Mr. Townsend lost the minute he jetted off after telling the AP he planned on getting rid of those Commie troublemakers of his as soon as he returned.


stringonastick said...

I can guess that this little biz is the ultimate in happy work places, or at least it will be as soon as the owner goes on vacation and the mice get a chance to play. I do hope the pre-vacation level of back stock is sufficient for their needs.

James Stripes said...

It should be easy to see
The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe

Fido in Frank Zappa's "Stink-Foot"

My first assumption was that "Be Gods" was somehow an LDS message, but you set that one to rest. Correctly deployed apostrophes and commas have become rare gems in most writing. Lynne Truss in Eats, Shoots & Leaves advocates the use of paint and stickers to correct public signs that get it wrong, and includes a supply of adhesive punctuation marks. If the license plate owner buys the book, she'll have a sticker to put on her plate. Of course, the state may have a law against such defacement.

heydave said...

I thought that "Be Gods" was a Spinal Tap album, coming out right after "Break Like the Wind"

And then the group went on vacation.

Anonymous said...

Oh man, I was sure it was an invitation to join in the fun at the next Mt Olympus ambrosia party. (I'm always all antennae at any hint of a revival on popularity of the Most Entertaining Immortals Ever. Tax-free of course. Guess I have to wait some more, till the rest of humanity gets as hip as I.)

Al Loha,


therealhellkitty said...

How many wrongful termination lawsuits does that add up to?

Litigious minds want to know.