Monday, June 20

It's Okay. Fred Thompson Haley Barbour Mitch Daniels Jon Huntsman Rick Perry? Will Save Us.

WE are now into the the third Presidential election cycle in which Republicans have no answer. Which ought to be considered a lot odder than the Mass-Market Media seems to do, seeing as how it's happy to portray the Republican party as the one with Answers readily at hand.

The first of the three involved an incumbent, of course, which managed to obscure the problem somewhat, especially from people who didn't care to look. But leave The Mostest Incompetent Bush of All out of the equation for a moment: what if Dick Cheney hadn't been forced by circumstances, health concerns, and the fact that he'd named himself Vice President to declare at the outset that he wouldn't run in '08? How would setting him up as the next nominee have gone over, when was polling only slightly better than the Still At Large Anthrax Bomber? Republican basement-dwellers had been proposing a "Cheney steps down, Condi Rice steps up" campaign for two years at that point, and chuckling to themselves over the dilemma liberals would face in being forced to vote for a Womyn, and a Black, thereby putting Dubya in the Oval Office, legitimately this time. (Which, by the way, gave me no end of amusement, not so much for the idea of Condimelda Rice, Irresistible Candidate, but for a political analysis predicated on the idea of Dick Cheney giving up power voluntarily.) So even they recognized the man was anathema.

Really, it oughta be enough that 2012 is recapitulating 2008, except with the Republicans supposedly ascendent this time, to shelve the "Republicans are unhappy with their choices (again)" routine like it's just another unlucky roll of the dice. Consider that Bush 2000 was anointed by insiders in 1999, not selected by primary voters, and that above all everyone was desperate to end eight years of Clintonism; imagine Fumbles really running in a competitive race. Consider the two previous elections: nobody much liked Dole, or George Herbert Walker Imperius Panamanius Bush, either. Maybe it's time to admit they have a little problem. Or maybe it's time to acknowledge that the real point where they connect with the rest of American is that, deep down, neither of 'em likes Republicans.

And maybe it's that I've been watching this stuff continually now since early 2009, when the artificial groundswell for Mitch Daniels, the Anti-Charisma Candidate, signaled that the Piratical wing of the party had finally, in Still Governor for a Couple Weeks Yet Palin, found the point at which the Psychopathology Wing disturbed or embarrassed it enough to say something, so long as it thought the mike was off.

It's not like things ain't bad enough when Mitch Daniels, or Haley Fucking Barbour, look like attractive candidates to you; how bad are things when there's a move to run Fred Dumbo Thompson and nobody says, Wait a fucking minute! ? Rick Perry is your savior? Th' hell's he saving you from…Mitt Romney's even-worse hairdo? How does this go on--for years, now--without a general recognition that a) the Republican party is by far the worse of the two majors in choosing image over substance, and/or b) it doesn't actually believe what it says?

And listen: th' hell is so wrong with Michele Bachmann that Rick Perry looks like a good alternative? It ain't ideology. It's not, if Dave Weigel and Peggy Noonan can be believed, that Bachmann is a half-educated microcephalic with a terminal case of religious mania; that's a liberal calumny she refuted by being able to recite some lines last week. She's the triple high point of Teabaggery, which is the great political dynamic of the age. Why isn't she the nominee by acclamation? Why isn't there a Draft Sarah movement at least as persuasive as that Draft Mitch magic lantern show?

For that matter, what's wrong with any of 'em? Or, for the reality-based community, what's wrong with any of 'em that's not wrong with all of 'em? Yes, the front-runner is a smarmy snake-oil peddler and imitation human who's changed most of his major positions to correspond to the Base's wishes; how does that differ from Ronald Reagan, again? As a mere default Democrat, god knows I wish there'd be a Democratic field that included one halfway viable candidate who thought so highly of his own party's constituents as to actually pander to 'em. Yes, most of the Republican field, maybe all of 'em, would seem at a glance to have the national electability quotient of warm piss, but that's certainly not because they're not Republicans.

Clearly Sarah Palin is the heart and soul of the current Republican party, and possibly its brains, too; if she isn't the nominee by acclamation, why not? Fuck "she'd rather rake in reality teevee bucks." This is the party of Patriotism, and it's her patriotic duty to respond. I've heard a few Republicans note her negative numbers, even among Republicans. The thing I haven't heard is any of 'em brave enough to explain why. With the mike on.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I see you've ignored the elephant in the room.

paullu said...

Can't you say the same about Democrats? Who is next after Obama.

Which is not to say "they both do it", but to say our politicians are terrible. All of them.

Li'l Innocent said...

That's a scary link you've got there, ifthethunder. Least you could do is provide some sort of warning.

I'm a Jerseyite, but wouldn't call NJ a microcosm of anything, not even itself. Christie got elected here for several reasons, including IMO: (1) so many people were fed up with our plethora of goobernatorial scandals, (2) few had a clue who Christie was/is except he wasn't one of those other bums they couldn't help knowing something about, and (3) he lied a lot. I don't see anything but (3) being replicated on the national level.

{Still would have like that warning, though!)
Verification word is "wetieste". They're branching out into Dutch now? Wow.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

It was the AEI logos in the background that made me decide that pic was the one.

M. Krebs said...

I remember thinking that Nixon had sent the GOP into the proverbial wilderness for the foreseeable future back in 1975. I was wrong.

We're into the fourth election cycle in which What The Fuck? has been the reaction of sane people to the Republicans and their media enablers. You think somehow the USA might come to its senses? Prepare to be wrong.

StringonaStick said...

It should be incredibly easy to trounce these losers with a little truth about what the rethugs want to do to SS and Medicare, amongst other things; video clips with helpful narration would be more than adequate to the task. Which is why the democrats will fail to take that approach, because doing the obvious thing never seems to break through the "OMG, don't wear earth tones - that killed Gore!" mentality of the campaign advisors.

bob_is_boring said...

"Rick Perry is your savior?"

Jesus fuck. Has nobody been paying attention to the drivel?

This is a man who just vetoed a -- Republican congress-passed -- anti-texting-while-driving bill...because it tried to regulate the behavior. Of adults.

Also, too, the Texas government thinks we should pray for rain.

Really? Are we all four years old or what? Memo to Gov. Perry: there's no Santa Claus, either.

verification word: "paturd"
(I swear to the IPU (BBHHH) you pay for a special service for these things.)

Uncle Omar said...

I have nothing more than to say than that my word is "elities." Children of the elite, I presume.

bob_is_boring said...

Or the breakfast cereal thereof?