Friday, March 17

It Could Be Worse, I Suppose. You Could Be Just Waking Up from a Decade-Long Coma and Trying To Make Sense of the World.

Forget it, Jake, it's Jim VandeHei, "GOP Irritation At Bush Was Long Brewing"

At No Child Left Behind? Really? At the conduct of the war?

So why, exactly is this the first we hear of it? With all the trading product-placement news for insider access, why is that?

Is there some collective noun covering this page A-01 story? It's not news, clearly (and I don't mean that in the sense of "fresh": it's not news because presenting unsubstantiated testimony from interested parties is only news if you frame it as such). It's not a sidebar, or a ramora: the reader has to supply all context of the mizzerable failure that is George W. Bush and his Republican enablers, though said reader has to swim against the current to do the latter. It's not analysis, nor a "think piece"; stenographers aren't paid to think.

The only thing left I can think of is "ad".

Yes, pity the poor Republican rank-and-file legislator, who's had to endure five years of top-down management from the Bush administration and the Denny and Tom Show. All those straight party-line votes he was forced to endure while shame flashed an almost imperceptible tic near his right eye. Why, if he'd been in charge all these years things would be different!

Of course they would, young firebrand! None of us taxpayers blames you now for voting them for what you said you supported. What is political life but the warm amniotic fluid of our eternal forgiveness? Really, I'm glad y'all could get this stuff off your chests (Thanks again, Jim! See you at the clubhouse?). Because for these past few years I've been wondering how the Republican party could be so respectful of honest dissent, so solicitous of its opposing viewpoints, so forgiving in the face of all that Bush hatred and pro-terrorist mendaciousness. And now I know; you're just like us! What say we nationalize America's Strategic Ovary Reserve, eliminate Medicare, and drink a toast to our newfound understanding? Here's to our True Conservative legislators, and the people they are pledged to represent, starting tomorrow, and This Time We Mean It!


Anonymous said...

Well, I for one am ashamed that I misconstrued their intent so. Here I mistakenly thought they were intolerant assholes.

T.H. said...

pence, lugar, burton, chocola, hostettler, souder ... the list goes on and on.

btw, for you out of staters, those are the names of some gop representatives and senators from indiana.

Anonymous said...

Wow. That was just... mean.

I shouldn't criticize, however. Jury duty ended today. A guy suing his lawyer for a bad prenup contract. We didn't give him his money back, and then we essentially went on to suggest that he sue his *current* lawyer, and then we literally asked the judge to mock the defendant for his poor contract-drafting skills.
Well, okay, *I* asked. But it was what we all wanted. (The judge declined and suggested that the defendant and his lawyer hang around so we could do it ourselves, which we then did.)

So this piece you've written, Mr Riley, is the *second* meanest thing I've seen this week, and I'm proud of you.

Anonymous said...

Anyone with a heart could tell that they really didn't want to vote for all those awful things, and I know it hurt them deeply to stifle all opposition and make a travesty of longstanding rules and procedure in the House and Senate. Like when Bill Thomas, chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee, refused to allow any vote to subpoena the adminstrator who blocked the Medicare actuary from giving Congress the actual cost estimates for the Medicare drug plan. I knew Bill really didn't want to do that. Anyone could tell that the smirk of satisfaction on his face didn't really mean he was reveling in one-party power, it was a grimace of regret and brewing irritation.

It's a sad state of affairs when decent people are held accountable for actions they only performed under duress.