Well, when the stars are right they're right, and Benji never fails to disappoint.
Mark Foley Shames Republicans, But Would Do Democrats Proud
Okay, about that title...I'm married to a public school teacher, and as everyone knows we are forced to recruit because we're always encouraging underaged girls to get abortions, but there is something to be said for a little time spent in the fresh air of the playground, where one may learn that a sharp poke in the nose is the possible outcome of using words as cudgels. Mind you, I'm not advocating violence; I'm just saying that a healthy respect breeds a healthy respect, and Ben Shapiro spent way too much time cooped up with his Mumsy.
The following column contains language that some readers may find offensive .
I've been busy lately. Does it say that at the beginning of every Human Events column now?
Really, though. I love this. I wish I could think of the libertoonian who did the same thing a month or so back and who, unlike Ben, obviously did not find the material offensive himself. If you're so fucking concerned about what offends people, don't write it or say it. Sheesh, I don't walk around the mall saying "fuck" in other people's hearing, and it's obviously not because I find "fuck" objectionable, but because I find rudeness to strangers in public objectionable. Either do or don't do. Quit insisting that Hollywood ought to consider the most innocent lamb that might walk into a room and hear a swear when you can't say "Clinton" without "blowjob", whether or not you erect that stupid yellow tape around the crime scene.
Of course our forgotten Libertoonian friend might actually have thought he was providing a service, whereas Ben just increases his schoolmarm jollies by advertising adult content. I'm really eager to read his book on porn, by the way. I do so wish one would hurry up and fall off the refuse truck.
The Democrats finally have their issue. Rep. Mark Foley (R.-Fla.) resigned his seat in the House of Representatives on Friday, September 29, after news leaked that he had sexually harassed an underage male Congressional page.
I'm sure I've said this before, at least as often as I've bothered with a Ben Shapiro column, but y'know, for a Harvard 3L he sure doesn't seem to have learned anything about sticking to legal definitions when tossing around accusations. Sexual harassment? Doan' think so. Underage? Apparently not.
And "Democrats finally have their issue"? I'm confident that most Democrats believe their issue is the damage done to the country and the globe with six years of rule by right-wing ideologues and super criminals, and they wish the mass-market media and the mass-market paperback buyer agreed. Foley's a lagniappe, sonny.
Foley repeatedly e-mailed and instant messaged the page, revoltingly asking him to undress, to measure his genitals with a ruler, to list details regarding frequency and method of masturbation, and to tell Foley when he was aroused. "[I'd] love to slip [your shorts] off you … and [grab] the one-eyed snake," Foley messaged the teen.
Why repeat these perverse details? To demonstrate that House Republicans were not simply negligent in failing to investigate allegations regarding Foley's pedophilia -- they were downright malfeasant. When a 16-year-old page informed top House Republicans that Foley had e-mailed him and asked for a picture, the Republicans did nothing. When Republican officials confronted Foley over the e-mails, Foley explained that they were innocent mentoring -- and Republicans did nothing.
Again, not to split hairs, but is Ben really going to class? The distinction between "negligence" and "malfeasance" here is non-existent, unless you want to argue the possibility that the House Republican leadership didn't know "pedophiliac sexual harassment" was a crime.
In fact, many of Benji's cohorts have been arguing just this point; JPod, at the Corner, for example, cushioning Hastert's nuts with the satin pillow of "He wasn't Foley's boss and so had no real power over him". And there's plenty of discussion about what laws, if any, Foley may actually have broken. In Indiana he could be charged if he was acting in loco parentis or if he was using some coercive force, but otherwise it might come down, e.g., to whether a prosecutor wanted the headlines badly enough to try and fail to make a pandering charge stick.
So a plague on the legalists and on sloppy 3Ls. It's the apparent recklessness of the House leadership which is the issue here, that and the cynicism born of money and electoral power. That's the issue. It's beyond the simple hypocrisy of the thing, though that's powerful enough.
Trusting Foley at his word was inexcusable. If Foley had contacted a female page asking for her picture, there is no doubt he would have been grilled.
Well, knowing what we know about Foley, he might have been toasted. [rimshot]
House Republicans should have known better than to trust Foley here. Foley has been accused of closet homosexuality since his entry into politics; studies show that homosexuals are disproportionately prone to pedophilia.
No offense, mind you, but I wonder why it is homophobes are always pulling stuff like that out of their asses?
Democrats are surely correct to bludgeon House Republicans with the Foley scandal. Nonetheless, their outrage seems somewhat incongruous when we take into account their moral belief system. House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D.-Calif.), who labeled House Republicans' behavior here "abhorrent," is a vocal opponent of parental consent laws with regard to abortions for underage girls. This is the same Democratic Party that repeatedly endorsed homosexual page-molester Rep. Gerry Studds (D.-Mass.), even after his affair with a 17-year-old male page had been revealed. This is the same party that consistently defended Bill Clinton, calling his affair with White House intern Monica Lewinsky a private matter.
And The Amazing Kreskin stands by as the randomly-selected member of the audience, whom he has never met, opens the envelope, pulls out the sheet of paper, and reads: "Abortion, Gerry Studds, and Bill Clinton's penis."
On what moral basis do Democrats condemn Foley? They have no basis for moral outrage, since they have championed the destruction of traditional morality for decades. Instead, they condemn Foley and the Republicans for hypocrisy. Foley, when he wasn't spending his time molesting teenage boys, pushed for legislation to crack down on child pornography. House Republicans, when they weren't busy ignoring Foley's scummy behavior, pushed for legislation to uphold traditional values. The big sin here, according to the social left, is that Foley and the Republicans tried to bolster antiquated sexual mores while simultaneously bucking them in personal life. Were Mark Foley a liberal Democrat from San Francisco, liberals would be hard-pressed to spot a problem with his behavior.
I'm sorry, Ben. Did you say something? Musta dozed off.