Monday, January 28

It's Just Too Bad James Meredith Isn't Around To Present You With Your Medals

What: "Our first black president?"

Where: Salon

Subhead: "It's worth remembering the context of Toni Morrison's famous phrase about Bill Clinton so we can retire it, now that Barack Obama is a contender."

Can That Possibly Be The Actual Subhead?: Yes.

Why You Need To Read Further: You don't.

Why You Might Anyway: 1) You're 12 and you have a report due tomorrow. 2) You're a Crotchety Senior Citizen who likes to keep abreast of the latest developments in tone-deaf idiocy.

Précis: The one time Toni Morrison referred to Bill Clinton as our first Black president she wasn't referring to his skin color.

Conclusion: The one time Toni Morrison referred to Bill Clinton as our first Black president she wasn't referring to his skin color.

Number of Words In Between: 800.

Number of Those Words Which Is "Cute": Two.

Why Our Forefathers Were Willing To Sacrifice Their All For a Free Press: "Once we stop rehashing this term out of context, we can stop accepting as a given that African-Americans have already had their black president, and focus instead on this actual African-American candidate we have before us, Barack Obama."

Describe Obama's South Carolina Primary Victory in Three Words or Less: "historic and overwhelming".

In These Historic and Overwhelming Times, Is It Still Possible to Make a Major Contribution to the Language?: "An actual black man now stands before the nation, making the case for why he thinks he is the best choice for president. Regardless of what happens in the weeks and months to come, America is listening."

Odds That The Multiple Ironies of the Above Were Lost on the Author: 5 in 6.

We Shall Overcome Our Historic Reluctance To Vote: "Obama won a majority of whites under 30, along with the vast majority of African-Americans and most women."

Okay, But What's The Metacontext?: "Real and urgent issues affect black people all across the nation."

Chance That After This I'll Apologize For Having Called Camille Paglia The Worst Writer on the Internets: Still zero.


coriolis said...

Although I am a Crotchety Senior Citizen, I couldn't bring myself to click on the link, because the stupid hurts too much. But did she really say Obama's South Carolina primary victory was "historic and overwhelming"? As I recall Jesse Jackson "...won five primaries and caucuses, including Louisiana, the District of Columbia, South Carolina, Virginia and one of two separate contests in Mississippi."

James Stripes said...

It does us well to remember the times of the utterance. When Bill Clinton was Black, O.J. Simpson was White. These memories obscure that our next President, whether Black, Woman, Mormon, or former POW, will inherit the worst foreign policy debacle that I can conjure from the darkest corners of my mental closets, more foreclosures of the homes of African Americans than we have seen since the end of Reconstruction, and fewer intact civil liberties than the colonists enjoyed under the benevolence of King George III.

Julia said...

making the case for why he thinks he is the best choice for president

Actually, I'm fairly sure he's making the case that he is the best choice, or at least attempting to. I'm also fairly sure that if you were to ask him why he thinks so, that's pretty much what he'd tell you.

In my day, we had editors. Hours before sunrise, uphill both ways, in the snow. And we liked it that way. Off my lawn.

heydave said...

Makes one wonder who would win the gladiator contest: Paglia, with a trident and spear, or Victor By The Trail Of Their Tears Davis Hanson, using a broadsword and armor.

Fini Finito said...

OK, I already had a Teh Stoopid hangover from the CheneyPuppet's Big Night Out last evening, then I got to read this tripe first thing today? Oy vey! I may have to call up a stock brokerage and scream random obscenities at a capitalist lackey today.

coriolis said...

I just figured out that the guy in the funny hat, James Stripes, is the proprietor of the blog that is one of the best antidotes to all the stupid out there. Thank you, sir. And thank you, Mr. Riley, for linking to him a while back.

James Stripes said...

funny hat?

I'll remember that one.