Sunday, May 6

Okay, Think Back. 5th Grade History? Declaration of Independence? Jefferson? Franklin? Hancock Guy Signed It Real Big?

Dear ESPN:

I don't presume to tell you your business. Maybe the demo for thoroughbred racing skews Suburban Pretentious, or it eyeballs Patrician, or however it is you guys talk. Still, if it's not asking too much, would it be possible to explain to your field reporters, or tossers, or whatever you call them that citizens of the Commonwealth of Kentucky are not subjects of the fucking Queen of England? Or that they are not obligated to wait until spoken to before they speak?

Otherwise, wouldn't it be a good idea if, sometime in your fourteen hours of pre-race coverage, which included a total of three two-minute sporting competitions, you found the time to squeeze in a Proper Way To Curtsey piece?


J.B.S. Riley


Kia said...

Dang! I wished I had seen the curtseying. Well, maybe I can offer them a workshop next year.

M. Bouffant said...

I myself was hoping Her Bleeding Majesty would keel over & die from the sheer excitement of two minutes of nature's NASCAR, or perhaps a few too many juleps.
Didn't we throw her ancestor's flunkies the hell out of here a couple of hundred years ago? If we won't let Cat Stevens back in "our" country, why is she allowed entry? And did you hear the horsecrap she had to say about the colonialists at Jamestown? Started dmocracy & the "rule of law," etc., here in a "new" world? Urrkh!

Jaye Ramsey Sutter said...

Americans do not curtsy to the Queen. That means if we do curtsy we think she is superior to us. She isn't. Thomas Jefferson told King George to take a hike. We have no titles of nobility.

I didn't see this but if anyone did curtsy to her, they should go to England with her.