Monday, May 16

The Mystery Of The Three Chairs, Or What The Creeper Saw

Probably the lamest post on any of the internets, ever.

This is how I spent my weekend. Regular readers, and I hope you're doing what it takes to remain regular, will recall our old paint friends Banshee and Vineyard, or as I like to call them, green and purple. Well, when you buy a gallon of paint, you know you've just gotta paint something, and the garden chairs were just sitting there, begging for it.

The sharp-eyed among you will note that not only are there two colors on the chairs but they are, like most wooden patio furniture, slatted. This keeps water from pooling on them and increases painting time by a rough factor of 5000 if you're stupid artistic enough to paint them contrasting colors. Not only did I have to use a sash brush about half the time, some of the details were painted with a #12 artist's brush, which belongs to my wife and I hope I ruined.

And they're not done. My wife's rocker needs a second coat, and then they all get urethaned for added protection and because I so enjoy solvent fumes and hours of hand sanding. Incidentally, that reminds me of another of the joys of matrimony: anytime my wife rises from her rocking chair I say, "Well, you're off your rocker again," and we both laugh maniacally like it's the first time we've heard it, and like it was funny the first time.

But they look nice, don't they? Please use the comments to tell me how nice they look, but try to think up synonyms for "nice". They're actually a bit darker than the photo. My wife thinks they look "elegant". I chose "brooding". She had the last word, though: "Too good for the likes of us."


Anonymous said...

Somewhat Victorian, in a tasteful way.
Who names a paint after a creature that foretells your doom anyway? Did they have a paint called "Prometheus In Chains"?
We manage to avoid the "too good for us" furniture problem by just buying pressboard-in-a-box and hoping it has all the pieces. We rationalize this by pointing out that this will not be out last home, and we don't want to move good furniture. But, really, it's because we haven't evolved a sense of style yet.
As evidenced by the fact that our couch is a color that I probably *would* call "Red Tide".
So, okay, I envy your style if not your upcoming fume funfest, and because of this, I will use the word "nice" to refer to them now.
Take that.

julia said...

Definitely elegant and brooding.

Also artistic.

Also you have pretty much convinced me to go with spray cans of Rustoleum when we do ours.

Oscar Madison said...


handdrummer said...

agreeable, appropriate, attractive, beauteous, beautiful, becoming, bewitching, charming, clever, comely, congenial, decorous, delicate, delightful, enchanting, engaging, enjoyable, enticing, exquisite, fair, favorable, fetching, fine, fitting, genteel, good-looking, gorgeous, gracious, handsome, lovely, pleasant, pleasing, pretty, ravishing, refined, respectable, satisfactory, seemly, sightly, stunning, subtle, well-bred, well-executed, winning etc., etc.

And they're just plain swell as well.

Anonymous said...

Well, let's see. Considering the word "nice" was originally used to mean it's present day opposite, I will call the chairs "mean" and "naughty".

Anonymous said...

[pant pant pant] Sorry I'm late! What did I miss...Hey! Those are nice! me they epitomize "screaming grapes". A higher compliment I cannot give.

Phantom Scribbler said...

Marvellous. Wish I had a set like that.

Anonymous said...

They're smooth. Smooooth.

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure you should be openly displaying pictures of naughty chairs here where anyone could see them. Won't someone please think of the children!