Monday, May 9

Next Stop, Quemoy and Matsu

ABC: Bush apologizes for Yalta.

Bush, in an interview on Russian television, acknowledged that the United States and Britain played a major role in reshaping Europe at the 1943 Yalta conference of Franklin Roosevelt, Winston Churchill and Josef Stalin. "I think that the main complaint would be that the form of government that the Baltics had to live under was not of their choosing," Bush said. "But, no, there's no question three leaders made the decision."

There appear to be two directions he can take this, and either would make a fine follow-up to the wildly successful Social Security Victory Tour.

The first is to continue apologizing for the whole laundry list of Birch Society bugbears: "losing China", fluoridating water, letting Commies make motion pictures. I don't have the entire list handy, but while he's in Russia he should definitely apologize for our not having destroyed them in '46, when we were the only ones with the Bomb. And it'd be a nice touch if when he returns he makes amends to African-Americans for saddling them with the burden of voting and civil rights. He might also apologize to the bankers for FDR's bank holiday, but I think the nice gifts he's sent them already more than make up for that horrifying misstep.

The alternative would be to issue a weekly apology summarizing the mistakes of past presidents. "I'm sorry Bill Clinton caused 9/11." "I'm sorry my Daddy didn't liberate the Iraqis." "Beg pardon for Reagan's trip to Bittburg." That sort of thing. Because, after this latest performance, he owes Native Americans and the whole of Central and South America a really, really nice fruit basket. How ironic that the first U.S. president who decides to start apologizing for our mistakes is the one who never made any.


Anonymous said...

I don't think I'd start picking out the fruit basket until we actually stop screwing with Central and South America and give everybody a chance to add up the damage. As it is, it's a little like apologizing in the *middle* of the hotel-room-trashing.
On the plus side, we may not actually be responsible for violent civil war in Mexico, though we're *definitely* not responsible for it *not* happening.
All the news the State Department hopes you'll ignore...

James Briggs Stratton "Doghouse" Riley said...

Good point. I guess I got caught up in all the optimism.

eRobin said...

How ironic that the first U.S. president who decides to start apologizing for our mistakes is the one who never made any.


Anonymous said...

Apologies for harshing your mellow. On the other hand, the fact that there will most likely *not* be a violent civil war in the country whose border with us is occasionally patrolled by racists with rifles is actually probably good news.
I am also significantly cheered to note that "power to the people" is not necessarily just an electric company slogan nowadays.