Friday, July 22

Indifferent Housekeeping Seal of Approval

Okay, we are neither one of us exactly neat freaks in this household. Don't tell my wife I said that. In second grade I had a praying mantis cocoon hatch out in my desk--it had been there for about three months and gravitated to the back behind the books and I'd forgotten all about it. About two dozen little mantids were swarming over the potato chips that were in there for snack time. The teacher killed them all with a ruler. If I'd know she was prone to hysterics I wouldn't have put the thing there in the first place. I am somewhat better now but, honestly, not that much better.

New kitten means moving furniture you never move and childproofing outlets and getting wiring up and protected, so ya might as well clean back there, because the next kitten could be four or five years away. So here are a few recommendations. Because after all, who are you going to listen to--those consumer reports scientists in their pristine labs, or a guy who regularly does a half-assed job and then has to make up for it?

Dyson DC 14 Animal vacuum It's expensive. There's no cord rewind. The space-age styling gets old (my Poor Wife is supposed to paint those kewl flames on it, but hasn't gotten around to it). There's all sorts of little buttons and hidden releases to swap around attachments that take about two weeks to master. And it's just a flat-out remarkable vacuum and worth every penny, plus you can park it at the foot of the stairs and vacuum all the way to the top with the hose. And it picks up cat hair.

Those furniture slider things Work like a charm. Big teevee, large center speaker, two vcrs, dvd player and the table they all inhabit move with one hand.

Swiffer wetjet mop I hate gizmos like this, but I really hate the typical household mop, and buying a string mop and bucket and ringer and trying to lug all that around the furniture's out of the question, so I gave this thing a shot and it's a whiz. I'm not too crazy about using disposable pads but it gets into corners and picks stuff up really well and you never have to dry mop. Not much room for painting kewl flames on it, though.

Simple green Soap. Buy the gallon jug and a sprayer bottle and dilute it however you want. I've got simple green, ammonia, bleach, and baking soda under the sink, and the house would be spotless if I'd get around to using them.

Web furnace filters I've always used expensive filters. The late Hoover shed enough that you could knit a new cat every twenty-four hours. The Absorber filter is good enough that the difference was noticeable. If you don't have pets the regular filter can be washed and reused.

Nature's Miracle Stain and Odor Remover and Litter Box Treatment Trust me.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, yes, yes, yes to all - especially the Dyson.

And I have to say, from the one photo, your Random looks just like our Dash. We were going to name him "Heisenberg" (because when we got him we knew he was always in motion but did not necessarily know where he was), which sounds a lot like Random as well. "Dash" pretty much expressed the same sentiment without the polysyllables.

Anonymous said...

Cord rewinds suck. Having to pull the thing out makes for loose connections in the cord, and stretched or broken wires. Having to have a vacuum repaired because the thing was designed to need cord replacing every year is annoying at best.

On the other hand, at least it's not a damned Oreck. God, I hate those things.

Simple Green is a miracle, I'm not sold on the Swiffer thing.

Anonymous said...

OK, but do those slider things work on a hardwood floor without scratching the crap out of it?

James Briggs Stratton "Doghouse" Riley said...

Kathy, our floors are urethaned, which I highly recommend, and there's no problem. My guess is it's the same on untreated floors.

And d., you weren't, like, pulling the thing out of the socket by the cord now, were you? The Dyson's lack of a cord rewind is not that big a deal, but if you want to use attachments you have to unwind the entire cord to get at the wand thing, even if you're a foot away from an outlet.

Anonymous said...

Once, my little sister left a hard-boiled egg sitting in our closet. She stashed it there after one Easter because the PAAS made the egg look so pretty she couldn't bear to give it up. I detected an unpleasant odor, found the egg, and told on her butt. She also collected empty milk cartons "just in case she needed them later."

I also had a roommate who for some reason stashed a sack of potatoes in our coat closet. You haven't smelled anything until you've smelled liquified potatoes.

Gonna get a Swiffer. Thanks for the endorsement.

Anonymous said...

I would *never* pull a cord from the socket. I scream at housemates when I catch them doing it.
Please remember I am a career motel maid, as well as the only person in the home capable of changing a vacuum belt, let alone replacing a cord. (And we're not even going to discuss the plastic tape measure the significant other came home with after a tool shopping expedition.)
These people couldn't repair a leaking faucet with a manual, a workshop, and three fairy godplumbers at hand.
I note that the cord-rewind encourages the idiots to hit the button and let the cord yank itself out of the wall, too.

I cringe; it was not an inexpensive vacuum, and frankly repairing electrical items myself makes me nervous.

My biggest disappointment with the Swiffer Wet Jet is that it takes batteries. A gravity feed would have been sufficient, I think, and we'd have fewer rechargers sitting around in outlets full of random battery sizes.

Jaye Ramsey Sutter said...

When are you coming over to my house to clean it? What do you use to clean the baseboards?

Anonymous said...

Plastic putty knife *under* the baseboards. Or you can use an old credit card, which also works wonders on soap scum. Depending on what kind they are, try a soft cellulose sponge with Simple Green in solution. Vacuum first, rinse often. Baseboards get dusty.

If you have pets or kids, the best rule is: The closer you get to the floor, the fewer chemicals you use.