Tuesday, July 26


• I do try to keep the talk of Indiana politics to a minimum, or at least constrained to the Universal, to the Hoosier in all of us, the inner child that enjoys a good high-speed car crash and hopes to get that GED someday. But damned if Emperor Governor Mitch "Is It Even Hotter That Close To The Sidewalk?" Daniels doesn't do something every week I can't overlook. The latest was actually from the end of last week, but got lost in the latest round of Time Zone Roulette. Candidate Mitch toured the state in an RV. Sorta like Lamar Alexander's plaid lumberjack shirt schtick, if his shirt had been 40-feet long and got 2 mpg on the highway. Anyway, the Mitchmobile had apparently seen better days by the time he was elected, and the fine folks at the Monaco Corporation donated the use of a new one to the state. It's been christened RV 1, just in case you'd like to test your gag reflex.

So last week Mitch takes his rolling gated community to a Republican fundraiser, and Democrats cry foul. And Daniels--have I mentioned he's short and has a chip on his shoulder?--fired back about "partisan attacks" and said the Democrats have a guy whose job it is to "throw mudballs" at him every morning. Mitch, that's just because with you as governor there's so much mud around just going to waste. It may not be a big issue, but it is pretty goddam clear you can't use state property for fundraising purposes. Mitch says he was advised by his legal counsel "before, during and after" that the trip was okey-dokey. This is presumably the same crack legal team which was caught flat-footed by the requirement that the Governor live in the Governor's mansion. Look, I got no problem if you wanna use the Fugs Defense, or the Pretzel Gambit, or the It Was Like That When I Got Here Misdirection Play, but how about, one time, just shutting the fuck up?

• Oh, and that fundraiser? It was for State Representative Troy Woodruff, R-Vincennes, the freshman legislator Daniels talked into reneging on his promise to vote against Daylight Savings Time.

• The Mighty Atom never misses a photo op, either. He's been at more store openings than Tony Orlando, a job that used to go the the Lieutenant Governor. Today he joined Earvin "Magic" Johnson at the opening of an inner-city Starbucks, which rated five minutes on the local news. The good thing about that is that Mitch is so diminutive of stature you have to look close in order to spot him.

• And by the way I will never forget that Magic, one day after announcing he was retiring due to AIDS, went around screaming "I'm not gay!" Which would have been a vile enough thing to do if it were true, but y'know, Earvin, I'm still waiting to hear how many other straight stud athletes from the 80s were infected because they got more ass than a toilet seat, as we said in junior high.

• Headline for James Taylor story in the Indianapolis Star: "Singer focuses on music, not frills". Damn, I was just going to see him spit flaming lighter fluid.


bronco214 said...

I seem to remember that album. Does it have a song called "Coca-Cola Douche" on it?

D. Sidhe said...

Considering the bullshit that goes on in my own beloved state, blog away, gentle Hoosier.
Misery loves company, man. Just sorry it's gotta be you.

Hokie said...

Magic's not gay, he's just on the down low!

Also, what's this about the governor's mansion?

KathyR said...

Hey, our governor is an idiot movie star. I mean, I'd like to feel your pain, but I've got something pinching me real hard over here.

There had been "Magic is gay" rumors for years before the AIDS thing. I understood the need for a guy in his position to deny it, especially back then. Yes, it would be better for the world if he just told the real story, whatever it is. But I'm not sure it would have been better for him.

Magic bashing is a little suspicious coming from you Bird-staters. -snort-

doghouse riley said...

1) Bronco: Yes. Somehow songs like "Coca-Cola Douche" and "Boobs a Lot" seemed to overshadow some of their other fine work. My own favorite was "Wide Wide River," with the immortal line, "Was George Washington a lesser of two evils?"

2) Hokie: Early days, the Guv announced he was gonna stay in Carmel, and build hisself a new castle in a gated community. It was pointed out that not only had all modern-era governors at least called the official residence home, but state law specifies he live "in the seat of government." He's still in Carmel. After the flap he suddenly came up with a list of $200,000 worth of repairs the place needed (which included more bathrooms). All no doubt true; the past two governors have raised funds privately for some renovation, and I think the state put some money into it a few years back. But it's whispered that the real reason is the lovely Cheri Daniels refuses to live in that part of town. The manse is in a bastion of Old Money, but the neighborhood around there gets a little dark, if you catch my drift.

3) Kathy, I know we can't top Cali, but then your guy was a movie star before you elected him. Our guy pretended to be a grass-roots Hoosier Gus with a business and government background. Most of us had no inkling of his emotional instability.

And may I remind you that Earvin Johnson, Jr. is from Michigan? And that I, along with every other basketball fan, am a great admirer of his skills, even if they did give him an assist every time he touched the ball in the Forum? But that instant denial was disreputable.

Pepper said...

So, how did your emperor get elected? I still puzzle over how many people in California were so dang stupid as to vote for a movie star who treats teachers and nurses like the slimy monsters he kills in his flicks.

I've never heard of the Fugs, but with a cover and title like that, I gotta check it out.

Magic - no athlete is gonna come out of the closet in my lifetime. Terrell Owens gave Jeff Garcia so much crap around here (my gaydar goes on high alert when I see him, but that's just me) that he left town. And to be so worried about being perceived as gay instead of thinking who he may have infected, hetero-style or otherwise is dumb. Then again, he was never a rocket scientist.

harry near indy said...

tuesday morning, i stopped at a convenience store northeast of indianapolis to buy some gas for my car.

as i was paying for it, up comes rv1 into the parking lot. the door opens and some muscle comes out of an suv and puts himself between the public at large and the open door -- as if anybody's gonna shoot him.

seems the gov was going to pendleton to dedicate some faith-based program in the state reformatory there. i saw the report on the tv news, which i usually don't watch except for the weather.

as i drove off, i said in a loud voice, "nice combover, asshole."
so -- a strike against the fascist pig by the people!

D. Sidhe said...

I once rode a city bus with the brother of the guy who took a swing at our last mayor.
It was widely agreed that he (the then-mayor) had been asking for it, having engaged in a lovely round of street sweeps to tuck the unsightly out of view before some random big-deal event.
For some reason, bus-riding seems to be more of a prole thing.

Norbizness said...

Could I spit flaming lighter fluid on to James Taylor? Say goodnight, Sweet Baby James!